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Author: Subject: The Advice Lady is stumped! Help!!!!
Tea_Honey
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[*] posted on 8.28.2013 at 09:09 PM
The Advice Lady is stumped! Help!!!!


The grandkiddies are coming for a visit. I was complaining to a friend that while we used to visit our grandparents for the "summer," mine come for a 3 day visit.... when as a grannie, she told me something disturbing.

Her son and daughter-in-law told her that they and her grandkids will stay in a motel this year when they come for the Thanksgiving holiday. Her husband smokes (cigarettes). Even though he goes outside to smoke when they stay over, the son and daughter-in-law have declared their entire house to be toxic. They claim their daughter gets a 'scratchy' throat when she sleeps in their son's old bedroom and their son gets 'itchy' eyes from the OLD smoke in the house, so pops going on the back porch to smoke isn't enough.

(Btw, my friend has never noticed any scratchy throats or itchy eyes during their visits - all this was news to her.)

I'm commiserating but don't really know what to say but to laugh weakly: 'good, you won't have to make up their beds when they leave!' But then she tells me something odd: It was only after the daughter-in-law asked her hubby to NOT smoke for the duration of their visit, and the 40 year addict said 'you got to be kidding' that the everybody gets sick/no-overnight stay accusation came into being.

She also sad that once when they were visiting the kids, the daughter-in-law had told her son to tell his father that he couldn't smoke outside their apartment building, either.

My friend is at a loss. She feels that her son and daughter-in-law coming to such a draconian decision affecting her and her hubby's lives, not to mention declaring their house toxic, is an insult (toxic is MY word, not hers ...lol). Her husband is so pissed, he wants to cut off relations and declare them DEAD to him! She isn't sure how to handle the situation so **sigh** she came to the "Advice Lady."

My first instinct was "oh Lord, don't put this on me!" My second was that somebody is using my friends' grandkids AGAINST them.

I'm thinking that to keep the peace, to let the out-of-towners sleep in a motel. But I can't but wonder if this is merely the first "inch".... as in - give 'em an inch and they'll take a mile? I am soooo not interested in getting into ALL their business, but looking at the FIRST demand - don't smoke for the duration of the holiday - inside the house OR out - and when it's refused, all of a sudden their entire house is "toxic" and we can't sleep in it, I'm thinking something else is going on. :ummm:

Oh, and from the way she talks, I'm not sure all this "unreasonableness" comes SOLELY from the daughter-in-law.

Any suggestions? Ideas? As a grandmother, this is too big for me to give out flip advice.




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JrHagler
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[*] posted on 8.28.2013 at 10:41 PM


My question is......is the cigarette smoker is also a marijuana smoker?
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Tea_Honey
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[*] posted on 8.29.2013 at 06:45 PM


No Jr.H. No illegal substances. **sigh**

At this point, I'm considering "suggesting" that they accept those things that cannot be changed, and when they visit the grandkiddies, to stay at a motel, as well. :)


(see, this is why I'm having a hard time with this, couching my advice if you will - the instinct to INSULT backatcha is strong. :eyebrow: )




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