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Author: Subject: MtmM_the story teller
JrHagler
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[*] posted on 10.18.2016 at 10:15 PM
depression


Hello Journal,

There is nothing like a suicide to put things in perspective.
We saw it coming over a week ago. We made moves to prevent the suicide from happening. One sibling was in legal trouble and the other three try to keep an eye on him. The father was informed and came up with the idea to hire a lawyer....one of the siblings did do that, in fact talking to 3 of them and a private investigator.
We felt we were in a good position to have the charges reduced and/or go away. But it will take time!
He already was diagnosed with mental illness. We were in the process of getting him into counseling. But it will take a little time. For the past two weeks we were making progress.
Then the youngest sibling notices his brothers computer and iphone still open/on in the kitchen. He looked around the house, then the yard....then he went to the empty barn. It was there he found his older brother by two years....hanging by a rope.
Emergency personnel was immediately called.
The bottom line is....We ran out of time!
His suffering was too great to bear. And he made his mind up some time ago to leave this life. A couple of siblings felt they failed him.....as this pains me much, we all were working for a solution(s) to his personal crisis. He knew we were!
He just chose his way.



a little more patience my son, just a little more....as I cried!
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JrHagler
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[*] posted on 10.20.2016 at 01:39 AM
The Definition of Hell


Journal,

I've been studying Buddhism for awhile....and I'm beginning to see how people can create their own hell.

But I've never in my whole life ever knew ....a mother....who children she gave birth to....wanted to do her harm.

She's hiding from her children now. With the help from her church and pastor.

Shunned by your own children.....now that's a living hell.
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[*] posted on 10.24.2016 at 03:18 PM
the reality of death


When I was 25 years old Journal, (Ol' folks tales)

Me and another man went to the county morgue in the basement of San Buena-Ventura County Hospital.
This was during the late 1970's and we both worked there. We retrieved a new born child that passed away the night before....signed for it and headed up the elevator. The other man handed me the child because he couldn't hold it any longer.(he had very young children of his own and it send a chill through his spine.)
So I carried this dead child the rest of the way. We both entered the mother's hospital room and upon arrival I handed the child to his mother. The child was completely wrapped in a small blanket as to not to frighten people in the hallways as we walked by. The mother received the child with out-stretched hands and I waited outside of the room. The other man waited inside a few steps away from the mother.
About 20 minutes later the man exit the room and handed me the child and we returned to the morgue.
I asked, "WHY"...the other man stated that it was important for the mother to know that her child is dead. And to say "Goodbye".
That lesson stuck with me!

So day before yesterday, at the wake, I walked up to my child, place my hand on his right cheek, felt that cold-chill, then place my hand on his right shoulder and said, "goodbye"....immediately I left the room, got away, and walked, walked some more, and walked through the downtown of Salem. Never to return!
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[*] posted on 10.30.2016 at 08:37 AM
Arrival at McCarren International(Las Vegas)


The drama that was going on in Salem, Oregon is too much to bear....so I was relieve to arrive to my home airport. Still grieving from my son's death....I was just going through the motions of leaving the Southwest Airlines jet, going through the long, portable hallway and into the airport crowd. Onward to baggage claim which in this case requires you to take tramway and crowd in like a New York subway. Down a couple of flights of stairs and a quick left and I was there. All I had is a backpack and a small suitcase with wheels, which is smaller than my backpack. With this combination I can travel easily with 3 days worth of clothes and toiletries.
The cab line is unusually long today. When my time came I threw my two bags in the trunk and gave the cabby my destination address.
And that's where the usual ends.

The main traffic exit to town was blocked by multiple police cars. It was then I learned that President Obama is in town.
I told the cabby lets try the other end...it should be open....once we arrived there it was blocked too.
Dayum!
Here we are sitting and waiting permission to leave and the cabby's clock is ticking.
Then I made a decision.
Gave $20 to the cabby, and stepped out.
Grab my two bags and started walking.
Heading towards the fence on Russell Ave. I heard a shout.
Where you're going?
I said, Going home!
The questioning voice came from a Metro police officer.
DO NOT GO UNDER THE BRIDGE AND RETURN WHERE YOU CAME FROM!
I stopped and looked for a second seeing the bridge...then cast my gaze to my right toward the fence.
I changed direction away from the bridge and made it to the fence....7 feet high. I can scale this, I thought.
tossed my two bags over and climbed it like a kid. Once on the other side I proceeded across Russell Road.
Two cops appeared this time and one yelled!
YOU DON'T LISTEN TO WELL, DON'T YOU!
The cops are at least 150 feet away with there left hands resting on their pistols.
I turned and yelled back.
I DIDN'T GO UNDERNEATH THE BRIDGE AND I'M GOING BACK WERE I CAME FROM....I'M GOING HOME!
With that said I turned and walked toward the second fence(bars), this one 4 feet high, threw my bags over, jumped over and was gone.
An open field greeted me, its a park with houses and regular streets....four blocks later I ran into another cab, hailed it, and caught a ride home.
I guess the officers saw I wasn't a threat to anyone. Just an old grieving man trying to get home.
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[*] posted on 11.10.2016 at 12:58 AM
another day


hello journal,

I love these kids, these adult kids of mine...
Admittedly, I have children from 3 different women.
Married the first two, and had a lover for the third.
I see at least one part or more of myself in each one.
And the mates they choose is amazing.
After losing one of them to death, made me appreciate them even more.

next subject:

So Clinton lost to Trump....the street fighter Trump had to compete against the media, then the Republican party, and finally the Democratic Party. His passion,..... yes passion, was able to conquer the political process.
In my opinion, there were only one person who could surpass him. And that person was Bernie Sanders.
But Bernie was a victim of dirty tricks by Hillary Clinton and her campaigners. I've witness this here in Nevada when several Bernie's caucus members complained about being DENIED to enter the local meeting and thus unable to vote for their candidate Bernie. Ensuring a Clinton caucus win. It was done by some obscure rule. This "pissed off" the Bernie supporters....this sabotage happened nationally and reached a head a few months ago when Sander's supporters Boo'd the person who is responsible for this, a high ranking Democratic Committee member.
Yes, Clinton insured herself the Democratic nomination (a short term victory)
But at the cost of Bernie supporters. This passionate group that help Bernie....was not there for Hillary.
AND it showed in the final tally!

and this is my two bits about politics

next subject:

Last Saturday, Union members voted on a new contract....and won 95 percent approval. So I'll get a raise within a couple of weeks and another raise at the first of the year.(and back pay for stalling a year)
This came about because management stalled for a year and was threatened with a strike. Then the management became agreeable.
Yes...we will fight for our share

later Journal
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[*] posted on 11.14.2016 at 08:27 PM
How?


How do you deal with this Journal,

When I was younger, mainly in my teens and young adulthood....we would have multiple deaths in the family. And the running comment at the time was that it happens in 3's. This happen to a distant relative that I had occasional contact with. A distant aunt here, a third cousin there, and a close friend of the family.

But how do you deal with death of a family members you are close with?....my son a mere couple of weeks ago, and a father a few days ago.

I have communicated with more relatives, more often, here recently than I have the past few years.
But just when I start healing from the pain of one death....then another happens.
A few years ago another human being went through this I read. A plane lost power to its engine and crash into a residential home. The man of the house was at work. While his wife and children were at home....in this crash, his family was home.
It was report he went into depression and was unable to function. Other family members did hire a lawyer and had him attend psychiatric counseling.
My situation is not that severe.....but its not easy either.

next subject....

work has began on our shower room/bathroom....considered 3/4 bath, meaning a shower, toilet, and sink.
The old shower was removed, R-13 insulation was put in, and a new shower "shell" was put in place.
I'm impressed so far.
My first bid to do the bathroom was 7,400 dollars.:wow:
The breakdown was 5,000 for labor and the rest for "parts".
My reaction after reading the "bid" I said I need a couple of days to "think" about.....that's my way of saying, "No Way!"
The saleswoman did send a "second" bid.....via internet.
It was $5,986 and some change. For $7,400 I can renovate both my bathrooms....(at least that's my thinking)
During this time my girlfriend have talked to a few women at her work about home renovation.
One man was recommended.....a handyman with experience in commercial construction, like the ARIA and Caesars casinos. But after the major projects was done he was laid off...and now makes a living doing small projects in homes..this man is working in our home.
Came Recommended, by 4 different working women.

next subject

I see all these protests about the election of Donald Trump.....my question is....."Did They Vote?????

I heard a number......about 46 percent of the voting population, DID NOT VOTE!
That means, our government was chosen by less than 20 percent of the TOTAL population.:yikes:
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[*] posted on 11.16.2016 at 07:31 PM
Yesterday


Yesterday Journal,

I had time on my hands so I used it to work on my new home via living room and kitchen. During this time I was listening to NPR radio Las Vegas talk about our President-elect Trump.

This what I came away with:

White men matter.....after 3 decades of American jobs going outside our borders NOW white nationalists are saying, STOP!
The white blue collar workers and the white working poor have voted DONALD TRUMP.
And they are tired of competing for jobs with LEGAL immigrants. Especially those from south of the border. From Central America and South America. And hey, don't forget those Pacific Islanders and Southeast Asians. Before it was just Black People they had to compete with....NOT any more! We have a more diverse group now.

Trump's economic policy is nothing more than extreme Reaganomics......we all working people get a tax cut! But the biggest cuts go to the wealthy.
the Budget Deficit will get larger.....funding these tax cuts means borrowing more money.

He wants to re-build our infra-structure....which is a good thing....because that's the only way to get the white working poor and blue collars back to work! How to fund this is another subject altogether.

His 3 adult children is receiving on-the-job training on how to run the federal government. Maybe Trump is too!
But hey! Don't they suppose to be running his corporation while he's President?
Conflict of Interest? Hm-m-m.

And some of the people he's starting to surround himself with....is this the year 2016.....or 30 years ago!

He's against China....but playing footsie with Russia.
He's against violent Muslims who shoot up dozens of people.....hey, Remember Columbine?
Wasn't that "white students" shooting up that high school?

personally,
I'm keeping my job
Paid off my credit card bills...except the mortgage, and that's a 30 year fixed rate. (interest rates have been going up since his election)
Have cash in the bank and in my mattress.
Because economically, this is going to be a bumpy ride!

I'm out Journal.
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