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JrHagler
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[*] posted on 10.18.2016 at 10:15 PM
depression


Hello Journal,

There is nothing like a suicide to put things in perspective.
We saw it coming over a week ago. We made moves to prevent the suicide from happening. One sibling was in legal trouble and the other three try to keep an eye on him. The father was informed and came up with the idea to hire a lawyer....one of the siblings did do that, in fact talking to 3 of them and a private investigator.
We felt we were in a good position to have the charges reduced and/or go away. But it will take time!
He already was diagnosed with mental illness. We were in the process of getting him into counseling. But it will take a little time. For the past two weeks we were making progress.
Then the youngest sibling notices his brothers computer and iphone still open/on in the kitchen. He looked around the house, then the yard....then he went to the empty barn. It was there he found his older brother by two years....hanging by a rope.
Emergency personnel was immediately called.
The bottom line is....We ran out of time!
His suffering was too great to bear. And he made his mind up some time ago to leave this life. A couple of siblings felt they failed him.....as this pains me much, we all were working for a solution(s) to his personal crisis. He knew we were!
He just chose his way.



a little more patience my son, just a little more....as I cried!
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[*] posted on 10.20.2016 at 01:39 AM
The Definition of Hell


Journal,

I've been studying Buddhism for awhile....and I'm beginning to see how people can create their own hell.

But I've never in my whole life ever knew ....a mother....who children she gave birth to....wanted to do her harm.

She's hiding from her children now. With the help from her church and pastor.

Shunned by your own children.....now that's a living hell.
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[*] posted on 10.24.2016 at 03:18 PM
the reality of death


When I was 25 years old Journal, (Ol' folks tales)

Me and another man went to the county morgue in the basement of San Buena-Ventura County Hospital.
This was during the late 1970's and we both worked there. We retrieved a new born child that passed away the night before....signed for it and headed up the elevator. The other man handed me the child because he couldn't hold it any longer.(he had very young children of his own and it send a chill through his spine.)
So I carried this dead child the rest of the way. We both entered the mother's hospital room and upon arrival I handed the child to his mother. The child was completely wrapped in a small blanket as to not to frighten people in the hallways as we walked by. The mother received the child with out-stretched hands and I waited outside of the room. The other man waited inside a few steps away from the mother.
About 20 minutes later the man exit the room and handed me the child and we returned to the morgue.
I asked, "WHY"...the other man stated that it was important for the mother to know that her child is dead. And to say "Goodbye".
That lesson stuck with me!

So day before yesterday, at the wake, I walked up to my child, place my hand on his right cheek, felt that cold-chill, then place my hand on his right shoulder and said, "goodbye"....immediately I left the room, got away, and walked, walked some more, and walked through the downtown of Salem. Never to return!
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[*] posted on 10.30.2016 at 08:37 AM
Arrival at McCarren International(Las Vegas)


The drama that was going on in Salem, Oregon is too much to bear....so I was relieve to arrive to my home airport. Still grieving from my son's death....I was just going through the motions of leaving the Southwest Airlines jet, going through the long, portable hallway and into the airport crowd. Onward to baggage claim which in this case requires you to take tramway and crowd in like a New York subway. Down a couple of flights of stairs and a quick left and I was there. All I had is a backpack and a small suitcase with wheels, which is smaller than my backpack. With this combination I can travel easily with 3 days worth of clothes and toiletries.
The cab line is unusually long today. When my time came I threw my two bags in the trunk and gave the cabby my destination address.
And that's where the usual ends.

The main traffic exit to town was blocked by multiple police cars. It was then I learned that President Obama is in town.
I told the cabby lets try the other end...it should be open....once we arrived there it was blocked too.
Dayum!
Here we are sitting and waiting permission to leave and the cabby's clock is ticking.
Then I made a decision.
Gave $20 to the cabby, and stepped out.
Grab my two bags and started walking.
Heading towards the fence on Russell Ave. I heard a shout.
Where you're going?
I said, Going home!
The questioning voice came from a Metro police officer.
DO NOT GO UNDER THE BRIDGE AND RETURN WHERE YOU CAME FROM!
I stopped and looked for a second seeing the bridge...then cast my gaze to my right toward the fence.
I changed direction away from the bridge and made it to the fence....7 feet high. I can scale this, I thought.
tossed my two bags over and climbed it like a kid. Once on the other side I proceeded across Russell Road.
Two cops appeared this time and one yelled!
YOU DON'T LISTEN TO WELL, DON'T YOU!
The cops are at least 150 feet away with there left hands resting on their pistols.
I turned and yelled back.
I DIDN'T GO UNDERNEATH THE BRIDGE AND I'M GOING BACK WERE I CAME FROM....I'M GOING HOME!
With that said I turned and walked toward the second fence(bars), this one 4 feet high, threw my bags over, jumped over and was gone.
An open field greeted me, its a park with houses and regular streets....four blocks later I ran into another cab, hailed it, and caught a ride home.
I guess the officers saw I wasn't a threat to anyone. Just an old grieving man trying to get home.
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[*] posted on 11.10.2016 at 12:58 AM
another day


hello journal,

I love these kids, these adult kids of mine...
Admittedly, I have children from 3 different women.
Married the first two, and had a lover for the third.
I see at least one part or more of myself in each one.
And the mates they choose is amazing.
After losing one of them to death, made me appreciate them even more.

next subject:

So Clinton lost to Trump....the street fighter Trump had to compete against the media, then the Republican party, and finally the Democratic Party. His passion,..... yes passion, was able to conquer the political process.
In my opinion, there were only one person who could surpass him. And that person was Bernie Sanders.
But Bernie was a victim of dirty tricks by Hillary Clinton and her campaigners. I've witness this here in Nevada when several Bernie's caucus members complained about being DENIED to enter the local meeting and thus unable to vote for their candidate Bernie. Ensuring a Clinton caucus win. It was done by some obscure rule. This "pissed off" the Bernie supporters....this sabotage happened nationally and reached a head a few months ago when Sander's supporters Boo'd the person who is responsible for this, a high ranking Democratic Committee member.
Yes, Clinton insured herself the Democratic nomination (a short term victory)
But at the cost of Bernie supporters. This passionate group that help Bernie....was not there for Hillary.
AND it showed in the final tally!

and this is my two bits about politics

next subject:

Last Saturday, Union members voted on a new contract....and won 95 percent approval. So I'll get a raise within a couple of weeks and another raise at the first of the year.(and back pay for stalling a year)
This came about because management stalled for a year and was threatened with a strike. Then the management became agreeable.
Yes...we will fight for our share

later Journal
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[*] posted on 11.14.2016 at 08:27 PM
How?


How do you deal with this Journal,

When I was younger, mainly in my teens and young adulthood....we would have multiple deaths in the family. And the running comment at the time was that it happens in 3's. This happen to a distant relative that I had occasional contact with. A distant aunt here, a third cousin there, and a close friend of the family.

But how do you deal with death of a family members you are close with?....my son a mere couple of weeks ago, and a father a few days ago.

I have communicated with more relatives, more often, here recently than I have the past few years.
But just when I start healing from the pain of one death....then another happens.
A few years ago another human being went through this I read. A plane lost power to its engine and crash into a residential home. The man of the house was at work. While his wife and children were at home....in this crash, his family was home.
It was report he went into depression and was unable to function. Other family members did hire a lawyer and had him attend psychiatric counseling.
My situation is not that severe.....but its not easy either.

next subject....

work has began on our shower room/bathroom....considered 3/4 bath, meaning a shower, toilet, and sink.
The old shower was removed, R-13 insulation was put in, and a new shower "shell" was put in place.
I'm impressed so far.
My first bid to do the bathroom was 7,400 dollars.:wow:
The breakdown was 5,000 for labor and the rest for "parts".
My reaction after reading the "bid" I said I need a couple of days to "think" about.....that's my way of saying, "No Way!"
The saleswoman did send a "second" bid.....via internet.
It was $5,986 and some change. For $7,400 I can renovate both my bathrooms....(at least that's my thinking)
During this time my girlfriend have talked to a few women at her work about home renovation.
One man was recommended.....a handyman with experience in commercial construction, like the ARIA and Caesars casinos. But after the major projects was done he was laid off...and now makes a living doing small projects in homes..this man is working in our home.
Came Recommended, by 4 different working women.

next subject

I see all these protests about the election of Donald Trump.....my question is....."Did They Vote?????

I heard a number......about 46 percent of the voting population, DID NOT VOTE!
That means, our government was chosen by less than 20 percent of the TOTAL population.:yikes:
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[*] posted on 11.16.2016 at 07:31 PM
Yesterday


Yesterday Journal,

I had time on my hands so I used it to work on my new home via living room and kitchen. During this time I was listening to NPR radio Las Vegas talk about our President-elect Trump.

This what I came away with:

White men matter.....after 3 decades of American jobs going outside our borders NOW white nationalists are saying, STOP!
The white blue collar workers and the white working poor have voted DONALD TRUMP.
And they are tired of competing for jobs with LEGAL immigrants. Especially those from south of the border. From Central America and South America. And hey, don't forget those Pacific Islanders and Southeast Asians. Before it was just Black People they had to compete with....NOT any more! We have a more diverse group now.

Trump's economic policy is nothing more than extreme Reaganomics......we all working people get a tax cut! But the biggest cuts go to the wealthy.
the Budget Deficit will get larger.....funding these tax cuts means borrowing more money.

He wants to re-build our infra-structure....which is a good thing....because that's the only way to get the white working poor and blue collars back to work! How to fund this is another subject altogether.

His 3 adult children is receiving on-the-job training on how to run the federal government. Maybe Trump is too!
But hey! Don't they suppose to be running his corporation while he's President?
Conflict of Interest? Hm-m-m.

And some of the people he's starting to surround himself with....is this the year 2016.....or 30 years ago!

He's against China....but playing footsie with Russia.
He's against violent Muslims who shoot up dozens of people.....hey, Remember Columbine?
Wasn't that "white students" shooting up that high school?

personally,
I'm keeping my job
Paid off my credit card bills...except the mortgage, and that's a 30 year fixed rate. (interest rates have been going up since his election)
Have cash in the bank and in my mattress.
Because economically, this is going to be a bumpy ride!

I'm out Journal.
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[*] posted on 10.1.2017 at 02:56 PM
Hello


Hello Journal.... I've just turned 65 years old a few days ago....so it's now official... I'm now a old fart.😁😁😁

But still working full time with benefits. And I have a female friend with benefits. Who could ask for anything more?

Which reminds me of Orange Juice Simpson. OJ for short... He's been discharged from Nevada State Prison a little while ago and kinda disappeared. Good for him because they'll be reporters chasing/running behind him from here on out.

And one of the biggest subjects about him is his retirement checks.
And quite a few people are complaining about it, mainly the families of the murdered victims. They have a $33 million plus interest wrongful deaths lawsuit....and is looking Simpson to provide them a life of leisure.
I seriously doubt that will happen. WHY? Because his retirement/pension checks are protected by state and federal laws.
_He has the Screen Actors Guild, pension plan.
_He also has the NFL pension plan as well.
_And at the age of 70, he can get maxed out Social Security Benefits as well as Medicare.
Several estiments range from $5,000 to $24,000 per month.
PERSONALLY.....I can live very well at $5,000 a month in Nevada.(In California and Hawaii can be a little difficult)

AND by moving to the State of Florida.....he'll have additional legal protections for his assets. Like when he purchase a home.
If he plays his cards well....he'll be fine!
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[*] posted on 12.10.2017 at 06:10 PM
Trump is a Con-Man...Do I need to explain this?


A good con-man is like a good magician....he'll have you looking at his LEFT hand while the real movement/action is happening with his RIGHT hand.

Trumps left hand....is his twitter feeds and outlandish remarks when he's on stage or behind the podium.
This gives a lot of people riled up,(making people annoyed and/or irritated). This keeps people occupied, including the media.

In the meantime, HIS RIGHT HAND is busy reversing every policy that his previous US President has put in place, example: The Keystone Pipeline, diplomatic relations with Cuba, Climate Accord, etc.
ALSO....the DE-CONSTRUCTION of the Federal Government. example: The State Department, a lot of diplomats have left the service and many experienced diplomats are being offered a $25,000 buy-outs. in the private sector that would be called, "down-sizing" or "re-engineering".
and lastly, Medicare, Medicaid, Social Security Disability are in the cross-hairs of the Trump Administration in the beginning of the year 2018.
In the meantime, Keep an eye on "Tax Reform" which is going on now in December 2017.
In my opinion, if this legislation passes, with all its crazy side laws, will put this country on the path of bankruptcy or insolvency.

I say this due to my experience with California's "Proposition 13" and the current situation with the TAX REFORM troubles of the State of Kansas.
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[*] posted on 1.20.2018 at 10:27 PM
What up with you?


Hey Journal,

Just finished having my Toshiba laptop computer wiped clean. It was an accident, that mean old virus, a Trojan, just took over the machine and shut it down.
A friend of a friend whom I know clear this machine for just $40.00. Some businesses were talking $199.00(one time fee) to up to $499.00 for a 3 year subscription.
Luckily he was in town for a few days to visit with his relatives. He currently lives in San Francisco, California driving for Uber. He was doing work here in Las Vegas, Nevada for over a year(same company). Then he heard about the Golden State.
He's putting away $5,000 a month after expenses in San Francisco.
Dayum! I thought.....you go dude.
His first love is computers. Which was his first hustle after for over 4 years....then Uber came to the state of Nevada. It's PERFECT for a man who doesn't have to answer to a Boss!
He more than double his earnings in the Bay Area of California....I wish him well.

US Government Shut-Down

Now let me remember what happened.

President Trump revokes DACA program, which was started during the Obama Administration. Then he punts it to the US Congress and says fix it.
Well.....the leaders of Congress did just that!
And President Trump rejected it!
And then that comment about people from Sh*t-hole countries and wanting people from countries like Norway.
Basically, he doesn't want dark skin people immigrating to the USA.(which includes DACA) He wants whites from Europe....That's the bottom line.
Democrats tied DACA to the government budget. Republicans enabling Trump wants DACA to not to be part of the process.
Thus the shut down.
Funny, both parties agree about DACA....It's President Trump who doesn't.

MY two PIT-Bull mixes...

I had these two, 7 year old dogs up at 6:00 am for a quick walk to relieve themselves prior to going to the VET.
By 7:00 am I was checking them into the kennel for a nail trimming, teeth cleaning, and blood work. It did require anesthesia for all of this to get done.
At 4:00 pm I'd picked them up and took them to the park for another 30 minute walk. Afterwards we returned home, they drank some water and then laid down.
Still feeling the effects.

My next door neighbor

They got evicted from the house a couple of days ago. But prior to eviction they cleaned out the house and back yard and placed everything in the front yard and curb. Trash, old furniture, some machines and just plain useless junk. The owner got his house back after going to court and getting a judges order.
Two weeks ago, the Las Vegas Metro PD raided the place and arrested the renting occupants. Felony charges I heard. (DRUGS)
Anyway, its quiet again in the neighborhood.

My Job

We got a raise in pay on the first day of the year. (YAY)
The cost of Medical Insurance went up too! (BOO)
Well, receive in one hand just to be taken out by the other.

Until next time, Meditate.
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[*] posted on 2.4.2018 at 10:21 PM
Modern Technology


It still amazes me Journal how technology have changed my life.....for the better, or at least, made it a lot easier.

Take yesterday for example: Nevada's Vehicle Registration

I returned to the same place every year...SMOG TEST.
Pull up to the gas station and parked next to a sign that says, "Park here for Smog Test.
Step outside and leave my driver door open. The mechanic steps up and SCANS the bar code placed on the lower right hand side of the door opening.
Just like that....my information and the vehicle information is loaded up on their computer....the mechanic then grabs a cord and plugs it in underneath the steering wheel, turns on the engine and sticks a Rod in the exhaust pipe.
Within minutes he's printing out the results....My vehicle pass by the way. I go to their office and get offered to have my vehicle registered.(for a fee of 10 dollars)
5 minutes later, it's done.
Smog Test, Vehicle Registered with the state....handed a sheet of paper as proof, the Official Tags will arrive in 10 days.
Whole process took what? 20 minutes!?!

2nd Example....Tax Filing

Called the tax office for a appointment.
Their response....Today is Super Bowl Sunday, no customers are here. Just walk in.
It's 11:00 am in the morning, 45 minutes later, I am there with all my paperwork.
WITH THE HELP OF THEIR COMPUTER and a few questions.
Done in 30 to 40 minutes.
Still 2 hours before the football game of the year.

Both these tasks have been reduced to simple errands.
by the way....Philadelphia Eagles WINS over New England Patriots.


Done
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[*] posted on 2.25.2018 at 07:03 PM
the 2nd Amendment.


The right to arm bears....Oops, my bad.

Let me start off......You can not discuss the 2nd Amendment WITHOUT the discussion on slavery.
James Madison, Patrick Henry, and George Mason made that perfectly clear.

George Mason, whom at the time owned over 300 slaves wanted "a well regulated STATE militia" to suppress any slave rebellions during that time.

from what I read and my understanding.
The slave states wanted the second Amendment, particularly Virginia...to have their OWN militia to guard against the newly formed US government AND to suppress slave rebellions. (Remember, this is 1791 I'm talking about)

and it has nothing to do with "BOB" down the block having the ability, or Right, to purchase any type weaponry.(present time, 21st century)

So in the 21st Century of the United States, we no longer have slavery and the US Government binds all the states.

Does the 2nd Amendment make sense today???
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[*] posted on 2.25.2018 at 07:15 PM
The 3 legacies of Slavery


Gerrymandering, Electoral College, and the 2nd Amendment.

I call these 3 the Legacies of Slavery.

I'm almost going as far as saying the 2nd Amendment is the "African Slave Revenge"

Just look at the last two mass shootings....a lot of white people have died or were maimed for life.(Las Vegas and Parkland)
And the saddest part is....most people don't know the HISTORY of the 2nd Amendment.(the right to arm bears)
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[*] posted on 5.18.2018 at 07:11 PM
The Hunt is ON!


Hello Journal,

Last summer we've picked up two dogs. They're about 8 years old now and their breed is American Pit-Bull Terrier. they are considered the larger bred around 70 to 75 pounds. The original owner couldn't keep them any longer. So we adopted them. Fast-Forward to now....there are a few fields nearby that are about 5 to 10 acres in size. They are owned by the local utility company and are fenced in except a couple of holes created by the homeless. Its here I come with the two dogs and "walk them". Basically I just have them on leash and once we're inside I unhook them. These dogs love to run or do a fast trot. As I walk along they stay within 50 feet of me. Sniff here, track there, piss on something over there and the usual dog stuff.

4 days go, we went about our usual routine about 45 minutes and was about 100 yards from the car to head home. Then out from the bushes a young coyote popped out. My dogs didn't waste any time. The Hunt Is On!....I'd yelled out but it did no good. Within seconds there were 3 puffs of smoke dust heading back out to the bushy field. Dayum, I thought.

After about 15 minutes of following their trails one of my dogs returned. I put a leash on him and did a quick body inspection. No bites, few scratches from the bushes and a visibly hurt right ankle.
I continue to track the other dog and from a distance to hunt is still on. The clues were the yelping of the coyote, barking of the dog, and the foot race(rising dust) that is continuing. 3 large fields and a raveen later. I caught up with the second dog. A quick inspection and put on a leach, but the coyote showed up within 50 feet of us, I can see this wild canine has balls. He yelped again and the second dog broke my grip on the leach. They both disappeared into the bushes again.
I tried tracking them for another 30 minutes and called his name. NOTHING.....so I head back home and explain to my partner what happened.
Four hours later, my cell phone rings. It was the local dog hospital. They informed me that they have the second dog found roaming the streets. That's Great and Thank You. Two strangers found him walking around with a leach and brought him in. Scan him and found he has a chip. My address and phone number is on the computer chip.
Once home he inhaled the ice water we prepared and visibly tired. That coyote was playing them both. Welcome to the Mojave Desert.
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[*] posted on 6.4.2018 at 09:18 AM
real estate today in Las Vegas


Hello Journal,

About 20 months ago I was able to purchase my home for $113,000....a three bedroom, 2 bathroom with a front and back yard. It was a short sale. Barack Obama was still President.
During this time it was difficult trying to find a home for $140,000 or less. A good percentage of sellers wanted CASH buyers. Many were not willing to wait 6 to 8 weeks to process a loan for the ordinary buyer. If you pay CASH! The whole process takes 3 weeks or less.
Take the money and run!
Rumors also stated that many people were cashing in their 401(k) retirement accounts to purchase homes and rent them out for future income. I've actually talk to a Canadian who's job was to purchase homes in the valley. Along with the Californians, Chinese, Japanese, and Funds managers like Berkshire Hathaway.

Now I've noticed the results of all this competition.

....continued,

The results is a tight market. There is not that many homes going for less than 140,000 or less.
My first clue came when my own bank offered me a home equity loan for 5% APR just a month ago. I thought, REALLY? Without me requesting one!?!
Next clue was an article in the local newspaper a week ago stating that Las Vegas Valley real estate prices risen 11 to 13 percent in one month. Um-m-m, so my home is worth 10 percent more. "big deal" I thought.
Then a few days ago my neighbor a couple of doors down informed me that the lady that used to own this home before selling it to me came by for a visit.
"Sorry I missed her" I replied.

Yeap, I'm still here.

This past year, I've witnessed at least 8 homes being renovated within a couple of blocks of me. And people who have been living in some of these houses already are improving their lot. (me as well)....then one day, just being curious. I went to the internet on a web-site called "ZILLOW" ....Zillow.com is a real estate web-site. And it has a variety of functions...like property estimates.
when I looked at mine....my jaw dropped!
The home went from 119K to 179K.:wow:
We're talking about 20 months time!

is this San Francisco? San Jose? because that's where home prices are really rising.

Well....building rental apartments are growing like weeds right now. rental prices I've been hearing has risen a couple of hundred a month(past 2 years) just for a 2 bedroom/2 bath. I could mention a few more factors but the bottom line is....Housing prices are rising dramatically in Las Vegas, Nevada.....Yeah, and just a mere 8 years ago this place was the poster-child of the real estate bust.

So, I'm stuck....at this time of my life. I really don't want to move....So, I'm stuck! And I'll watch my home appreciate in value (until the next bust)....in the meantime, there will be no refinancing, or 2nd mortgages, or borrowing against this property.
Because I witness the last real estate bust of the mid-2000's. Around 2003 to 2012.
A conventional, fixed rate, home loan that is less than 4 percent.

I'm stickin' right here!
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