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Author: Subject: UPDATE: 3 working adults = Bills split 3 way... no????
BklynJawn
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[*] posted on 12.11.2009 at 02:09 PM
UPDATE: 3 working adults = Bills split 3 way... no????


In March of '07 my cousin and i decide to become roommates as a means for both of us to save money. The agreement was him, me and my daughter would share the 3 bedroom, 2 bath apartment and he and I would split the rent. We all have our own bedrooms, and he has the 2nd bath as his own personal bath as well as an entire section of the apartment. Earlier this year, he started dating this girl and she became pregnant and has since had the baby. Now he has moved her and the baby in (without telling me this was the plan or that she has moved in. SHE mentioned it to me matter of factly). My thing is, if there are going to be 3 working adults in the apartment then the bills need to be split 3 ways. He sees it as, she's not a roommate and doesn't have her own space, so she shouldn't have to contribute to the bills. This has caused a big riff in our relationship, since the 1st set of bills became due and I, as I told him before, was only contributing 1/3. Am I wrong??
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Dutchess
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[*] posted on 12.11.2009 at 04:40 PM


Hey BJ,

First and foremost, in these days and times gettin a free ride is a thing of the past. Everybody pulls their own weight and should feel good about being able to do it.

For your cousin to think its ok to bring his girlfriend and her baby into the household and expect you to carry the additional cost of the utilities, which most definately are going to go up, is ridiculous.

Have a round table with them ,go over the household expenses. Even if the utilities are included in the rent he needs to understand that she should be considered a paying member of the household, not a freeloader.

As far as the rent is concerned I think she should pay her share there. However, you might consider her not paying into the rent since she is sharing his portion of the apt.

But most definately the utilities, including cable, sewage, garbage collection, etc. should be split 3 ways, she has to carry her weight, or he as long as its not you.




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youngheart
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[*] posted on 12.12.2009 at 07:04 AM


If she is going to sleep and waking up there and sucking up the air at 5 days out of the week,she should be paying 1/3 for that space or he should be paying 2/3 for it,if he chooses to support her.



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Confucius08
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[*] posted on 12.12.2009 at 10:27 AM


I agree with Dutchess and Youngheart.

For some reason, I get the feeling he thinks that his pregnant girlfriend should be considered "rent free" like your daughter. As stupid as this sounds, I get the feeling that is his line of thinking.

That woman needs to pay or he needs to cover the 2/3.




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Tastey
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[*] posted on 12.12.2009 at 12:43 PM


If you demand that she pays a third of the rent, then that means you only get 1/3 of the space.

Up until now you've been paying 1/2 of the rent, while getting 2/3's of the space.

If it's 3/3, then she is entitled to your daughter's bedroom. She may want to put her baby in there.

I do see your point, but previously to her moving in, you actually were not getting exactly 1/2. Your daughter used utilities and took up an entire bedroom...but he still split things in 1/2 with you because obviously a child is not working.

Previously he was 1 person with a set amount of space. Now you are saying because he has added 2 people to the same amount of space, he should pay more...but not get any more space???

Sorry but that's not fair.

In these economic times I'd advise you to continue paying your half and be glad you are not paying the WHOLE.
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BklynJawn
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[*] posted on 12.12.2009 at 01:35 PM


Quote:
Originally posted by Tastey
If you demand that she pays a third of the rent, then that means you only get 1/3 of the space.

Up until now you've been paying 1/2 of the rent, while getting 2/3's of the space.

If it's 3/3, then she is entitled to your daughter's bedroom. She may want to put her baby in there.

I do see your point, but previously to her moving in, you actually were not getting exactly 1/2. Your daughter used utilities and took up an entire bedroom...but he still split things in 1/2 with you because obviously a child is not working.

Previously he was 1 person with a set amount of space. Now you are saying because he has added 2 people to the same amount of space, he should pay more...but not get any more space???

Sorry but that's not fair.

In these economic times I'd advise you to continue paying your half and be glad you are not paying the WHOLE.


I understand this.... and thought about it as well, but at the end of the day, he and I have the same space! My daughter has her own bedroom, yes, but he has his own bathroom as well as an entire section of the apartment that he uses as storage (this apartment is HUGE). The common areas are the kitchen, livingroom & the bathroom (which my daughter and I use). And I honestly wouldn't mind them putting the baby in my daugther's room (granted they could find the space for her things).... my daughter would love that! Further more, not only do we have the same amount of space, outside of his bed and bathroom, I furnished the place.

I'm just looking at what's fair... if we're gonna go according to bodies and not the actual adults, he's still entitled to pay more, as he has 3 bodies, to my 2..... I'm just saying.....
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[*] posted on 12.13.2009 at 12:15 AM


Is it possible for you and your daughter to find your own spot...and get out of the lease early..or he/his new fam move out.....if he won't come to a meeting of the minds on this...

BTW....is the GF's baby his...some of the above posts gave me the impression that she was pregnant,had "the baby" (vs his baby) and he moved her in...

Agree with the need to talk and come to some compromise or resolution...I can't call it if she needs to pay her share ,if she just had the baby is she working...and is your daughter a little girl or young adult...




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BklynJawn
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[*] posted on 12.13.2009 at 10:58 AM


@Diamond
Yes the baby is his.... So we think.
She went back to work last week.
My Daughter is 7 which is why the baby rooming with her wouldn't even be an issue.

The plan is at the end of this lease I will move. At this point, I don't trust him or the situation. I just make sure I dot all my eyes and cross all my T's. Sadly, our relationship will never be the same after this and that saddens me... But it is what it is.
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BklynJawn
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[*] posted on 12.13.2009 at 11:01 AM


& personally, I feel that when he decided to make a baby and be a family, the right thing to do would have been to move out.... The agreement was you, me & my daughter. & then the way I found out about her moving in was just all wrong!
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BklynJawn
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[*] posted on 12.13.2009 at 11:07 AM


Quote:
Originally posted by Dutchess

As far as the rent is concerned I think she should pay her share there. However, you might consider her not paying into the rent since she is sharing his portion of the apt.

But most definately the utilities, including cable, sewage, garbage collection, etc. should be split 3 ways, she has to carry her weight, or he as long as its not you.


I honestly thought about leaving the rent out of the equation... And had I been included on the decision to move her in or at least TOLD, I might have left it out. But the way he tried to sneak her in was messed up. & the reason he did it on some sneak ish is because when he told me she was preggers I asked if he'd be moving her in & if yes, we'd have to split the bills. At the time he agreed that we should split the bills but said he wasn't moving her in. So that's why when he did, he didn't tell me. She slipped up and told me.
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Illiest_G
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[*] posted on 2.22.2010 at 10:06 AM


Sharing space and apartments... oh the joys ! lol ... Man, I can't wait to get my own place and not share anymore
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[*] posted on 2.22.2010 at 12:53 PM


You haven't stated how much your bills have increased since the move. Have you shown your Cousin the Electric bill\ gas bill and he refuses to cover the additional costs? It just seem like you want his gf to pay because, she is an adult. Not because, your bills have increased.
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BklynJawn
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[*] posted on 7.16.2011 at 09:49 PM


Posted all of this in February; baby girl and I moved April 1st. At the end of the day, it became a bad situation all around.

Our relationship was strained and we did not talk for over a year behind this situation (at the time I posted this, we hadn't spoken in months even though we lived in the same house). Then an Aunt of ours passed in March and he reached out to mend our relationship. We communicate, but it's not the same. Don't know if it ever will be.

Thank you all for the comments/advice.
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