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Author: Subject: Marriage and Safe Sex
soulitude78
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[*] posted on 10.29.2009 at 07:41 AM
Marriage and Safe Sex


For those of you who are married, do you still practice safe sex and get tested for HIV? If you're not married, would you consider for a period of time after marriage that you both continue to be tested and practice safe sex?

Let's discuss.
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[*] posted on 10.29.2009 at 09:40 AM


NOPE!!! Don't see the need personally.
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[*] posted on 10.29.2009 at 09:58 AM


I would hope that you wouldn't have too...but...

I have a friend whose brother died of AIDS, of course, not before he gave it to his wife from dipping and diving.

His wife, also his HS sweetheart. He was the only man she ever knew. She gave him four kids...after she was diagnosed she stayed, what else is there to do?

He died, and she died soon after.




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soulitude78
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[*] posted on 10.29.2009 at 10:31 AM


Quote:
Originally posted by Soul Cry
I would hope that you wouldn't have too...but...

I have a friend whose brother died of AIDS, of course, not before he gave it to his wife from dipping and diving.

His wife, also his HS sweetheart. He was the only man she ever knew. She gave him four kids...after she was diagnosed she stayed, what else is there to do?

He died, and she died soon after.


Yeah, you just never know. People step out a lot (it seems) these days. I think if I get married I'd probably practice safe sex for a couple years as well as have a HIV test done during that time, and if I were to get cheated on then I would indeed start practicing safe sex with my spouse, and take a HIV tests annually.

That story is messed up, but not unique. Not saying that this happens all the time, but we really don't know how often it happens, but we should at least know--it happens!




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[*] posted on 10.29.2009 at 10:36 AM


Ugh. Why get married if there is no concept of trust and fidelity?:headscratch:

I don't intend to practice safe sex once I'm married. If I am proven wrong, then that'll just be that lesson. I find it disheartening and hopeless to marry with feelings of mistrust and concern.:smh:




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[*] posted on 10.29.2009 at 10:46 AM


Quote:
Originally posted by tafui
Ugh. Why get married if there is no concept of trust and fidelity?:headscratch:

I don't intend to practice safe sex once I'm married. If I am proven wrong, then that'll just be that lesson. I find it disheartening and hopeless to marry with feelings of mistrust and concern.:smh:


100% If, the creator put me in the situation soul described it would be unfortunate. However, I would know in my heart, and mind that the creator will handle my wife in the correct manner when asked how she treated her husband and marriage.
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[*] posted on 10.29.2009 at 10:53 AM


I also think there are situations where signs are available for reading, but are ignored. People get married after having already endured abuse and infidelity. People ignore their instincts and sometimes walk themselves right into bad situations.

This may not be the case in all instances, but I've seen it a whole lot when it is.




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[*] posted on 10.29.2009 at 10:55 AM


Quote:
Originally posted by tafui
I also think there are situations where signs are available for reading, but are ignored. People get married after having already endured abuse and infidelity. People ignore their instincts and sometimes walk themselves right into bad situations.

This may not be the case in all instances, but I've seen it a whole lot when it is.


Much agreed.

That's the other thing, how the heck am I going to get involved with someone that has already proved that their marriage vows hold no weight to them. I would just be setting myself up. Forget that.

Outside of myself, I have a friend, he sleeps around, his wife knows it but still married him expecting their vows to make a difference. Three weeks after they were married, he's up to his same old tricks.




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[*] posted on 10.29.2009 at 10:57 AM


Quote:
Originally posted by tafui
Ugh. Why get married if there is no concept of trust and fidelity?:headscratch:

I don't intend to practice safe sex once I'm married. If I am proven wrong, then that'll just be that lesson. I find it disheartening and hopeless to marry with feelings of mistrust and concern.:smh:


I can't disagree. I just think for me, I'd want to do that.




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[*] posted on 10.29.2009 at 11:00 AM


Quote:
Originally posted by soulitude78
Quote:
Originally posted by tafui
Ugh. Why get married if there is no concept of trust and fidelity?:headscratch:

I don't intend to practice safe sex once I'm married. If I am proven wrong, then that'll just be that lesson. I find it disheartening and hopeless to marry with feelings of mistrust and concern.:smh:


I can't disagree. I just think for me, I'd want to do that.


Then, in all honesty, I would feel bad for you and your relationship. I can't imagine beginning a union built upon the principals of distrust. It's a sad thing and not at all what I'll aim for. I can remain single. I'd prefer it actually, if my marriage would be one condom and test after another. Purposeless.




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[*] posted on 10.29.2009 at 11:00 AM


Quote:
Originally posted by soulitude78
Quote:
Originally posted by tafui
Ugh. Why get married if there is no concept of trust and fidelity?:headscratch:

I don't intend to practice safe sex once I'm married. If I am proven wrong, then that'll just be that lesson. I find it disheartening and hopeless to marry with feelings of mistrust and concern.:smh:


I can't disagree. I just think for me, I'd want to do that.


After what I just saw last night, I'm with you Soulitude.




*~*~ Afraka - "flesh and soul of the hidden Sun" ~*~*

*~* Out Of Many, One People *~*

“The only kind of dignity which is genuine is that which is not diminished by the indifference of others.”

"Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds." - Albert Einstein
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soulitude78
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[*] posted on 10.29.2009 at 11:04 AM


Quote:
Originally posted by tafui
Quote:
Originally posted by soulitude78
Quote:
Originally posted by tafui
Ugh. Why get married if there is no concept of trust and fidelity?:headscratch:

I don't intend to practice safe sex once I'm married. If I am proven wrong, then that'll just be that lesson. I find it disheartening and hopeless to marry with feelings of mistrust and concern.:smh:


I can't disagree. I just think for me, I'd want to do that.


Then, in all honesty, I would feel bad for you and your relationship. I can't imagine beginning a union built upon the principals of distrust. It's a sad thing and not at all what I'll aim for. I can remain single. I'd prefer it actually, if my marriage would be one condom and test after another. Purposeless.


It wouldn't be forever, but for a period of time. I don't think it's sad, I just think it would work better for me. Trust is great, but I don't think it is a matter of trust as it is protection for me.




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[*] posted on 10.29.2009 at 11:05 AM


I would think the tables would be turned on a woman who is stressing safe sex during their marriage. I don't see that going over well with husbands. Unless, he outright says sure we can practice all the safe sex we want but this shorty over at work will be getting it Raw Dog.
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[*] posted on 10.29.2009 at 11:08 AM


Quote:
Originally posted by soulitude78
Quote:
Originally posted by tafui
Quote:
Originally posted by soulitude78
Quote:
Originally posted by tafui
Ugh. Why get married if there is no concept of trust and fidelity?:headscratch:

I don't intend to practice safe sex once I'm married. If I am proven wrong, then that'll just be that lesson. I find it disheartening and hopeless to marry with feelings of mistrust and concern.:smh:


I can't disagree. I just think for me, I'd want to do that.


Then, in all honesty, I would feel bad for you and your relationship. I can't imagine beginning a union built upon the principals of distrust. It's a sad thing and not at all what I'll aim for. I can remain single. I'd prefer it actually, if my marriage would be one condom and test after another. Purposeless.


It wouldn't be forever, but for a period of time. I don't think it's sad, I just think it would work better for me. Trust is great, but I don't think it is a matter of trust as it is protection for me.


I think it has all to do with trust. What would be the point of putting your spouse in a position where he\she didn't feel trustworthy. I think it would work both ways. I think for that period of time it would be on the minds of both. Like damn this mofo is, using this safe sex bit as, way to go out and get more on the side.
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[*] posted on 10.29.2009 at 11:10 AM


Trust is a funny word. People demand trust, but misuse it all the time.

I'm sure this guys wife TRUSTS that her husband is not trying to start a relationship with someone else.

I'm sure my friends brothers wife TRUSTED that her husband was going to do right by her.

They yell 'just trust me' all the while doing as they please.




*~*~ Afraka - "flesh and soul of the hidden Sun" ~*~*

*~* Out Of Many, One People *~*

“The only kind of dignity which is genuine is that which is not diminished by the indifference of others.”

"Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds." - Albert Einstein
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