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Ms_Shy
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![[*]](./images/reflections/default_icon.gif) posted on 6.17.2009 at 08:21 PM |
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Pregnany Troubles
Hey Ladies,
I am so confused right now I don't know what to do. I am very discouraged. I recently found out that I was pregnant, so I went to the doc and the
make a long story short they think it's an ectopic pregnancy. It has not been confirmed, but that was the first diagnosis.
I have been going back and forth taking blood test and ultrasounds for the past two weeks. I am pulling my hair out my head, I don't know what to do.
At first it was like okay, I won't be having the baby, but now it looks as though I might be able to have it. Sometimes I feel like they should just
terminate the pregnancy and I can move on with my life.
I can't get happy because I don't want to be disappointed and at the same time I want to know if I am going to be bringing another life into this
world. My bf has been very supportive and has stuck by my side and been positive the whole time while I have been doubtful and somewhat depressed.
Please tell me if any of you guys have dealt or know someone who has been through this and how they coped with it. Thanks!
It is what it is.
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Mixed-BarB
Newbie
Posts: 9
Registered: 6.13.2009
Location: Texas
Member Is Offline
Mood: GRRReat : )
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| posted on 6.18.2009 at 01:05 AM |
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I don't think you should terminate the pregnancy at all, because that's murder..but as far as you being concerned about it..that's normal. Every
woman goes through those worrisome feelings all day every day because she is concerned with that child's life. When I was pregnant, my doctor told me
that if I was going to lose my child..but I refused to give up and end the pregnancy..and 16 months later, I have a beautiful and healthy little boy.
I don't think you should give up so easily...God is on your side....he has always been there, and will always be there no matter what you
decide.Plus, you have a mate who is there to help you also. Just stay tough through it all...
"I'm a Fruit Loop in a world full of Cheerios."
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soulitude78
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| posted on 6.18.2009 at 06:57 AM |
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I have not had to deal with a situation like this, but If you choose to terminate the pregnancy, and you feel that's best, then do what is best for
you. The biggest concern I would think, would be for your health. If you boyfriend is supportive, then definitely continue to lean on him. I would
just be prepared and open to all possibilities. Have you sought or received a second opinion?
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deep_thinker
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| posted on 6.18.2009 at 11:36 AM |
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My opinion is that: if this is a life-threatening pregnancy then you might want to terminate the pregnancy and try again soon. If you
are excited about having a child I suspect part of that excitement has to do with being there to experience that child's life - which may not happen
considering the circumstances. And if this was an unplanned pregnancy I understand the emotional connection that you might have with your unborn but
are you really ready to have a child and/or risk your life having a child you didn't even plan/prepare for?
Again, this is just my opinion - I believe that all women should have the right to terminate a pregnancy if bringing a child into the
world is not the right option for them due to the specific circumstances. And no one can make that determination but you.
If the wise are not calm their manner is not perfect; if no calm comes in battle the army gets no rest. If there is no calm between feasts the master
and the mistress of the house cannot enjoy themselves and if there is no calm in the temple God abandons it.
Righteous Without Shame.
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Confucius08
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| posted on 6.18.2009 at 12:20 PM |
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| Quote: | Originally posted by soulitude78
I have not had to deal with a situation like this, but If you choose to terminate the pregnancy, and you feel that's best, then do what is best for
you. The biggest concern I would think, would be for your health. If you boyfriend is supportive, then definitely continue to lean on him. I would
just be prepared and open to all possibilities. Have you sought or received a second opinion? |
I am in agreement. Please get a second opinion. I have you on my prayer list, I couldn't imagine what your feeling.
In my personal opinion (and my opinion is all it is)...please look at all options, from my understanding, no live baby will come from your condition
so abortion may be the only option for this to preserve your health. But this is my opinion.
"The Lombardi Trophy & Stanley Cup
are only in ONE City this Year." |
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Confucius08
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| posted on 6.18.2009 at 12:21 PM |
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| Quote: | Originally posted by Tea_Honey
From my googling, an ectopic pregnancy does not result in birth. Because the egg is in one of the fallopian tubes WHERE IT DOES NOT BELONG, where
Nature never intended it to be thus cannot support its growth, the tube will erupt. No "baby" will be born (the growing mass of cells will burst
through the thin walls of the tube and disperse INSIDE the woman's body) and the potential mother has a 10% to 15% chance of dying.
Ectopic pregnancies do NOT result in live births.
btw, you have 2 fallopian tubes. In an ectopic pregnancy, the egg lodges in one of them. |
I was just about to do this bc I wasn't 100% sure of my post. Thanks for the info TH.
"The Lombardi Trophy & Stanley Cup
are only in ONE City this Year." |
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deep_thinker
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| posted on 6.18.2009 at 12:28 PM |
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She did say they thought she'd be able to have it. How would that be possible? Would they have to surgically remove and re-place the fetus?
Either way, getting a second opinion is sound advice.
If the wise are not calm their manner is not perfect; if no calm comes in battle the army gets no rest. If there is no calm between feasts the master
and the mistress of the house cannot enjoy themselves and if there is no calm in the temple God abandons it.
Righteous Without Shame.
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Tea_Honey
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| posted on 6.18.2009 at 12:50 PM |
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| Quote: | Originally posted by deep_thinker
She did say they thought she'd be able to have it. How would that be possible? Would they have to surgically remove and re-place the fetus?
Either way, getting a second opinion is sound advice. |
This is why I agreed with Soulitude that she should get a second opinion. You can't have an ectopic baby. Every one I've ever heard of had to be
terminated or it burst inside the woman's body.
According to the article I copied and pasted, 40% to 50% of doctors in the ER MIS-diagnose ectopic pregnancies. It also says something about most
doctors aren't sure about the best way to handle such a pregnancy - surgically (abort) or through administering drugs that will abort (for the
details, click on the link. I was trying for laymen's info, not to confuse with the "details" of the types of surgeries, the percentages of the
best drugs, etc.).
At any rate, just from what I heard growing up, I felt there was something "odd" about the doctors saying she "might" be able to deliver the baby.
No one delivers an ectopic baby! So I was seriously wondering if maybe she misunderstood (not to talk around you Ms Shy; just answering Deep
Thinker's post), or if it is truly an ectopic situation in the first place. 
P.S.
BTW, that's not a fetus in her tube. It's a collection of dividing (growing) cells. Fetuses are too big to fit in a 1/3 of an inch space.
All truth passes through three stages: 1) it is ridiculed, 2) it is violently opposed and 3) it is accepted as being self-evident.....
Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it
Choose your hypnotist well
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deep_thinker
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| posted on 6.18.2009 at 12:57 PM |
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Embryo is probably the right word.
Thanks Tea. I have never known anyone to have an ectopic pregnancy so I've obviously never done any research on it but in my mind I was thinking that
they were giving her hope with surgical options (primarily, removing the embryo and placing it into the uterus).
I think if this were happening to me I would do as much research as possible, because I have a lot of questions now and I would imagine that you do
too, Ms. Shy.
If the wise are not calm their manner is not perfect; if no calm comes in battle the army gets no rest. If there is no calm between feasts the master
and the mistress of the house cannot enjoy themselves and if there is no calm in the temple God abandons it.
Righteous Without Shame.
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VAGurl
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| posted on 6.18.2009 at 02:48 PM |
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I had an ectopic pregnancy, well actually two, the first one if hadn't gotten to the hospital when I did it could have been serious they rolled me
right to surgery that night. The second one I found out about early because I had been trying to get pregnant for 5 years. Unfortunately there is
not way to "move" the embryo so there are only three choices D&C, then there is a medication (I forget the name) that you have to take to terminate
pregnancy and the worse case scenrio laproscopic surgery. I know because I had to do all three because the lil angel I was carrying was stubborn
after the first two procedures they still kept getting a heartbeat. My mom even kept questioning the doctors hoping and praying that there was more
that could be done to save the baby because she knew how bad I wanted it.
I'm going to be honest with you, you're going to be on an emotional roller coaster it's been two years for me and I still have my moments of
"ifs". I cried myself to sleep many a nights with hubby just hugging not saying a word. You're definitely going to need a really strong support
system right now and for the days to come. Sorry if this seemed to be too much but there's no need to sugar coated it you need to know what lays
ahead.
You will definitely be in my prayers and I hope that things will work out for the good for you. If you want to talk more you can u2u me.
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msclassy
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| posted on 6.18.2009 at 03:39 PM |
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Hello Ms Shy...welcome back 
I agree with what was stated above...
research, get a 2nd opinion, and do what is best for you....
Good luck to you.
"destined, determined, dreamer''
In order for you to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.
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Tea_Honey
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| posted on 6.18.2009 at 04:06 PM |
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@ Va Gurl -
My condolences and heartfelt sympathies. From the tone of Ms Shy's post, I feel she's going to need your wise counsel and, hopefully, appreciate
your generous spirit.
I, too, believe in "knowing" vs. the rose-colored glasses. I couldn't help but notice you said you had 2 ectopic pregnancies. It is mentioned in
the article that this is a common occurrence - you have one, you chances of having another are something like 30% (not reading that whole thing
again!). Also, I recognized that procedure you mention (lapo-something). And the drugs....
If you wish to be "reminded", click on the link in my post. It was those kinds of details I omitted, feeling it was too much info. But it goes into
the procedures, the problems with each, the most optimum, as well as the drugs, etc.
In the final analysis, into every life some rain must fall. But remember, 30% chance of another ectopic pregnancy means there's a 70% chance of a
vaginal(?) one. To you, as well, God bless and good luck.
All truth passes through three stages: 1) it is ridiculed, 2) it is violently opposed and 3) it is accepted as being self-evident.....
Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it
Choose your hypnotist well
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VAGurl
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| posted on 6.18.2009 at 04:19 PM |
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Well unfortunately Tea both ectopics caused me to lose both of my tubes so the only way I can get pregnant is through IVF which is crazy expensive and
Virginia insurance companies don't cover fertility treatments. So I have to be happy with my 11 year old mini me I have already. Hubby doesn't want
to adopt.
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Tea_Honey
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| posted on 6.18.2009 at 04:23 PM |
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An 11 year old? No need to be multiplied 2, 5 and 10 times over - the joy and blessings of motherhood are yours. 
All truth passes through three stages: 1) it is ridiculed, 2) it is violently opposed and 3) it is accepted as being self-evident.....
Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it
Choose your hypnotist well
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tafui
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| posted on 6.18.2009 at 06:01 PM |
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This thread is making me sad.
Ms_Shy, I wish you the best during this time.
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