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Author: Subject: Life as I see it
khali22
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[*] posted on 4.30.2007 at 03:32 PM
Life as I see it


April 30, 2007

Random thought: I have to go to the post office today to mail Ryan's birthday present. I should have mailed it 3 weeks ago because it seems like every time I send him something it takes a month to get there. Lame. :td:


Belen and Kelly called last night and they asked me if I wanted to go to Lancaster with them on Friday to go shopping for Belen's prom dress (can't believe she's willing to go through another prom. Ours was lame enough as it is.) Anyway, the only thing is...she wants me to drive her car. Now, driving to Lancaster is no big deal. I've done it several times, but that was in my own car. So if I were to effe up and get into an accident then it's my car-my bad. But if I drive her car there's extra pressure on me to be like...an old lady driver and all that because if I effe up and wreck, her car-my bad. I don't like that.






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[*] posted on 5.1.2007 at 11:00 AM
May 1, 2007


JD aka Military is back from Iraq--definitely a good thing. He went to Alabama to visit his family for a while but now he's back in SoCal and I'm really excited to see him on Friday. He's really cute...:hug: lol jk...but seriously...cute :tu:

I think I want to introduce him to my family. That's kind of big though...the only guy my family has ever met is Ryan. They all loved him--even my grandmother lol which was bizarre. It didn't last though. As soon as he went back to NYC all she could say was "You shouldn't be involved with that boy. You should be concentrating on school." Thanks, granny. Hmm...I know she liked him...she just likes me more lol

Anyway, if I introduce Military to my family that means things are getting serious which means I'd have to give up that whole thing with Ryan. And I don't really wanna do that. It's so lame that he lives in NYC...I don't want to wait forever but at the same time...that's pretty much what I'm doing now, isnt it? I mean...I havent had a serious relationship in...a loooong time and it's because of Ryan :wtf: I don't really want anybody like I want him lol...

...it's hard to wait around for something you know might never happen but it's even harder to give up, espically when it's everything you've ever wanted.
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[*] posted on 5.3.2007 at 02:10 PM
May 3, 2007


We watched this video today in my Bio class about populations in certain countries exponentially increasing or decreasing. Anyway, the earths population is expected to nearly double to 11 billion by 2050. That's insane.





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[*] posted on 5.4.2007 at 08:03 PM
May 4, 2007


Went to the mall with the girls today. Woop woop! Shopping's pretty much the best thing ever. Well no...oxygen, aqua, and sex and shopping are tied at 3rd.

http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a377/iluvme_22/Icons/10700.jpg

I was pretty proud of myself though. I didn't spend more than like...$25...and 12 of that was on food at red lobster. I'd never been there so we went and...those cheddar biscuits are BOMB :nod: lol...Ooh...on the way home we passed a semi that had been blown off the road by the wind. This wind is vicious...I thought our house was gonna blow right off the foundation last night.

Hmm...I should be doing homework. *sigh* Oh well. I'll do it Sunday.


I kept forgetting to ask Military if he was still planning on coming down this weekend so I finally did today and he hasnt texted me back yet. Loser.






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[*] posted on 5.7.2007 at 05:18 PM
May 7, 2007


I'm pretty much in love with Shihan from Def Poetry. He's amazing.





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[*] posted on 5.12.2007 at 03:13 PM
May 12, 2007 Pt I


Hmm...so Military came to town yesterday. We had fun. Sorta. Well ok, he fell asleep last night and I started feeling kinda sick so I woke him up, said I was going home, told him to call me in the morning, and kissed him goodbye. Well anyway, I woke up this morning and around 10 I texted him to see if he was still asleep. 20 minutes later I get a text back that says "I'm on the road" I was like...wow. "Uh, thanks for saying bye"...Jackass. Anyway, he said "I'm really sorry about that but there's a comic book convention in LA today and I thought I told you I was going" no!!! loser. Effe him.

So I guess this would be a good time to introduce Oba. Well...I call him the Puerto Rican cuz I dont like his name. He doesn't know that though. Anyway, he's been trying to get with me for a while now and I never really went for it cuz...I dunno...but anyway, now that I know Military grew up to be a giant jerk face, helllloooooooo Puerto Rican lol. I guess.


Ha...a few months back my mom told me that I have her blessing to move to NYC to be with Ryan. I was like "uh, thanks mom. What about college?" and she said "They have colleges in New York dont they?" lol so...maybe I should do that. Not. It'd be kinda lame for me to move all the way across the country for a guy. But then again...eh whatever. He just needs to move to Cali or something lol. Mom freakin loves him though. She calls him her son-in-law...thankfully he's never around when she does. That might be embarassing.






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[*] posted on 5.12.2007 at 09:29 PM
May 12, 2007 Pt II


Oooh so I just got back from Alec's 6th birthday party and I saw Melissa's ex with his nasty ass girlfriend. He's such a fool. He was cheating on Melissa with this girl AND he has a wife in Virginia. Anyway, I called Melissa to tell her that he was there and she was like "go up and talk to him" so I did.

Me: Hey! Aren't you Melissa's boyfriend?

Charles: *looks bewildered* Melissa who?

Me: You know, Melissa. Yeah you are. I met you a couple weeks ago.

Charles: No, I don't know anybody named Melissa.

Me: Yes you do. You were over at her house. Your name is Charles.

Charles: *rolls eyes*

Me: Hey...I haven't seen you around lately...but I'm sure you've heard. She's pregnant.

Charles: *rolls eyes again*

Me: Hello? Are you listening? Um, ok. Don't talk to me then.



BWAHAHAHAHAHA He's such a dummy! lol She's not pregnant...I don't think. But everyone keeps telling him she is just to piss him off. (she told me to say that, btw) Haha...

I was talking with my mom and my grandparents about it. My mom goes "Oh, so he must be in the Navy then." haha...yeah. Good stuff.




Aaaanyway. I'm really excited about this summer. Me and Watson are going to San Francisco for a week to "look at colleges" psh...yeah. Maybe for a day. Then we're going SHOPPING! lol And I was talking to Drake (aka Duck) today and he said he wants to chill with us when we're up there. He's cool. Not to mention really cute. And musically gifted.


I am SO ready for finals to be over. They're stressin me out which is making my skin go all weird. *sigh*

I went to get my hair done today and my hairdresser had her baby a couple months ago. He's soooo cute lol Like...4 women who work there were all pregnant at the same time. I think all the babies were born within 2 weeks of each other lol

so I just finished telling Watson about my day and how Military is booboo and all that. She's in agreement with me that it's weird he would act all boyfriend-esque and then just peace out. *rolls eyes*

k yeah, i'm bored now....






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[*] posted on 5.14.2007 at 03:51 PM
May 14, 2007


I hate finals. No, I hate studying for finals. *hits head on desk* I have a feeling I'll be pulling an all-nighter tonight. That could probably be avoided though if I would quit procrastinating. It's not completely my fault though. It's so damn hot that I can't concentrate. It's already in the high 90s and it's gonna get worse before it get's better. This summer's gonna be miserable. Thank God for pools.


So mom and I got into a huge fight yesterday (surprise surprise). Mother's day is one of those days when you have to spend the entire day with your family and that's something my family doesn't do well. I got home last night and all of my movies were gone so I called my brother up to yell at him for taking them...turns out he didn't. Mom did. So I went to ask her and then it took her like 20 minutes to find them cuz she lost them...and she took them so Dave could have something to watch while he was drying his clothes (maybe he should get the dryer at his house fixed so he can watch his own effing movies). Anyway, I said "you could have at least called me to ask" and she started screaming at me about something...and basically she said "if you wanna get an attitude with me, you can pack your sh*t and get the f*ck out of my house" so...it's whatever. She wont kick me out. My grandparents will cut her off if she does...and Lord knows she stays moochin off them.

Anyway, all I'm asking for is a little respect. Just ask me if you want to borrow something (that doesnt mean I'll say yes...). She acts like she's all high and mighty. But what has she done for me? Nothing. My grandparents are more like parents than she ever was. They've supported me through every single thing I've ever done. They paid for me to do everything I've ever done with music, which was pretty much my life for the past 7 years. Trips, uniforms, fees...that stuff isnt cheap. They paid for me to go to a camp, and they paid for my school trip to the east coast in 6th grade. They helped me do every single fundraiser I was involved with. Not once did my mom help out. They've encouraged me a lot more than she ever has. She's always been more wrapped up in her own life than the lives of her children. Well no, she's been more concerned about Malcolm than me. Ever. They have this bond...whatever. Anyway, all I'm saying as that she walks around acting like I owe her something. She's wrong. My grandparents have been a huge influence for my whole life. Not that I dont love my mom, but my whole motivation in life is to not end up in the same situation she's in.

And I hate the fact that she depends on my grandparents for everything. She and my aunt, Aimee, are the exact same way. They both leech off my grandparents like it's nothing. Aimee got divorced over 4 years ago and she and her 3 kids and 2 dogs moved back to Cali from Texas to live with them for a while...well a while turned into years. They pay for EVERYTHING. Her kids are involved in every activity imaginable, and my grandparents pay for it all. They bought her a brand new effing car a year or so ago, and what does she do? Not a damn thing. She doesn't pay for anything around that house and it's terrible. She's pretty much getting a free ride. And it's not like she doesnt have means to support herself. She has a really nice job. If she moved out she'd make it, but she wouldnt have all the money to buy her kids all the crap they have (They are the most spoiled kids I've ever met).

It's not fair to my grandparents. They've worked hard their whole lives for everything they have and now they have to support two lazy ass individuals. It makes me so mad!!! And what's worse is that there's not a damn thing I can do about it. How do you make someone get a clue? And it's not like my grandparents are gonna quit supporting them. It's their kids. Personally, I think that's b.s. If I were in their situation I'd tell both of them to get their acts together and support their own families.

My grandparents aren't going to be around forever and I think they should get to enjoy the life they've made for themselves. They shouldnt have to spend the rest of their lives supporting everybody else.

:steam:






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[*] posted on 5.16.2007 at 07:10 PM
May 16, 2007


*sighs* it's soooo hot. I can't take it.


Military texted me the other day when I was studying for my stupid Biology final, wanting me to text him. I was talking to Kelly online and couldn't decided if I should or not...she said I shouldn't. But I decided I would and if he started being lame I'd tell him I was in the middle of studying so I had to go.

Anyway, I called him and I told him that I was mad for him being gay-tarded Saturday and just leaving like that. He said "Oh, I'm sorry sweetie. I thought you had said goodbye the night before." :wtf:

Whatever.

Kelly's going outta town for like...2 weeks. It's gonna be weird--her not being here. I mean...we see eachother EVERY DAY. And if we dont see eachother we talk online...it's weird how we were really good friends in 6th grade and then John somehow made us hate eachother...and we hated eachother even after he moved, up until like...10th grade when she sat behind me in English. We started hanging out in 11th and we've been BFF since...halfway through Junior year. Bizarre. Stupid John lol we probably would have been friends this whole time if it weren't for him.


I think I'm gonna sell my saxophone. I don't play the Alto anymore...and I could probably get maybe $100 for it. It's pretty beat up anyways. I guess it's a good thing I have so many instruments. If I'm ever strapped for cash I could sell all of them and get about 3 Gs. Daaaang lol. My g'ma asked me if I wanted to sell my trumpet too. Nooooo! I never even really played it, and it was like...$800 but...I play it at home sometimes. I like it. And my aunt wants me to sell one of my Clarinets to my cousin cuz she wants to play it too.


It made me really mad that all the kids in the family decided they wanted to do music too. Music was my thing. Everyone else had karate or swimming or whatever. Music was mine. Appparently not. So...now photography is like...the only thing I have to myself. It's not very fair.

Oooh speaking of Photo...Kelly and I went to go see Loren about starting an advanced photography class. He doesn't wanna put it in the course description guide so he's just gonna call a few people and ask them to join. He was like "it'd be nice to have the gang back" (Kelly, Belen and I were known around the class as the plastics--like from mean girls, except we're nice). He pretty much loved us. All of us used to jam out to Barry White and Marvin Gaye while we were developing film. I miss that class. It was like...so nice to have a new way to express myself. Not to mention that I'm really good at it lol

*yawn* really tired. I'm gonna go take a nap.






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[*] posted on 5.17.2007 at 03:17 PM
May 17, 2007


Things that annoy me:

when people take their frustrations out on others for no reason

music that sounds like garbage and seemingly lasts forever

people who wait for the light to turn green to make a right hand turn

bratty kids

people who are loud for no reason

wanna-be thugs/gangstas/pimps/etc.

ghetto a*s people who are on welfare but drive escalades and navigators

emily and her stupid piccolo

camping

credit card bills

wind

people who think being normal is somehow bad and then go out of their way to be different

people who judge me because I dont dress like a hoodrat and I speak like I have an education (which somehow means I sound white...)

my brother's family (We're half siblings). Not all of them...but most of the men.

the people who think I should introduce him as my half brother :wtf:

people who drive slow in the fast lane on a freeway

those little 6th graders on myspace who are all dressed like hoochies

the fact that California said our district didn't have enough low income housing compared to the rest of the state. So they made us build some and then we had nobody to live in it...so they brought a bunch of people from LA and Bakersfield over and then were shocked when the crime rate when waaaay up.






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[*] posted on 5.18.2007 at 12:57 PM
May 18, 2007


Grr...my Medical Terminology teacher had 2 different dates up for the day the final was closed...one was the 17th and one was the 20th. Well I didn't know that until today. I get online to take it and it's closed!!! Gay. So I emailed her to tell her what happened and ask if I could take it...That's so lame though. How are you gonna have 2 dates floating around?!:rant:





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[*] posted on 5.22.2007 at 02:25 PM
May 22, 2007


Happy birthday to me!!!

Dang...19...I feel old. Kinda. The other day I told my grandma that I need to hurry up and get done with school so I can start lookin for a husband cuz my clock is ticking. She laughed at me. I was kidding though so...I guess it's all good. Anyway, my mom's taking me, my cousin Dawnesha and Melissa to get facials on Thursday. We were gonna do it today but my brother has a concert so...


The fam took me outta town to go shopping last saturday so I already got most of my gifts. They gave me $400 and said have fun. I bought a new cellie and a few clothes...and my brother bought me a pocket knife. Well actually it's a box cutter...but whatever lol. My aunt Jenny and uncle Lee are supposed to be coming down to visit in a week or so...so that should be fun for a while lol. OOOOH Ryan bought me a purse from Dr. Jays in NYC and that should be coming in the mail any day...I'm excited about that lol and Melissa told me to go over to her house tonight and me, her, Will and Alisha will drink or whatever. So maybe I'll go over there tonight.

So I'm gonna go get in the pool before all the kids get home from school...






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[*] posted on 5.22.2007 at 06:05 PM
May 22, 2007 pt II


Aww...Ryan just called and sang to me :lovers: That boy is somethin else...





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[*] posted on 5.24.2007 at 03:40 PM
May 24, 2007


I've started learning Alicia Keys' "If I Aint Got You" on piano and it's REALLY REALLY hard lol. That's my fault though...she's good. It's not like her stuff is gonna be easy. I looked forever for a piano score for Akon's "Don't Matter." I really like how it sounds on piano...but I couldnt find it for free so...whatever lol


I was going through one of my old phones and I found Paul's number so I decided to see what was up with him...the first thing he said to me was "me and Joe are going to LA in June" so I asked him why and he said to go to a Dodger game and they want to see me and Melissa. Ha! Ok...I guess I'll give the whole story. When I was 16 I was up in Sacramento with my family visiting my great grandma. We were all out to lunch and I met this guy, Paul. He was quite a bit older than me (10 years...yikes!!! :wow:) but he was cool. So...we were friends but we used to fight a lot, considering that we lived 6 hours away from each other. So...our friendship would be going fine and then out of nowhere we would get into a huge argument and not talk for like...4 or 5 months lol and then it was usually me who initiated contact again. Anyway, not the point. Every time I went up to the bay area he wanted to kick it but...he had some drama in his life that I wasn't tryin to be a part of and I didn't want to get with him like that...it was weird. But whatever...

So last summer we finally decide we're gonna hang out and it worked out pretty perfectly because me and Melissa were gonna go to Universal Studios the same weeked they were gonna be in LA for a Dodger game. So Melissa and I drive down there, go to U.S. and around 6pm we start getting hella tired cuz we'd been out the whole night before partying and then we got up early to go on our trip, so we decide to head back to our hotel. So we get there an about an hour later Paul calls me and tells me that he and his friend Joe just got into town and they'll stop by our hotel for a while...so we gave them directions and like...15 minutes later I get another calling telling me they're lost (losers lol)...they ended up getting lost about 4 times lol but they finally made it and we all meet up in the lobby. I'd never met Joe before so we introduced ourselves and I introduced Melissa to both of them because she'd never met either before. So anyway, we get up to our room and we're just chillin and I was like "well, me and Melissa are kinda hungry. Do you guys wanna go to dinner or something?" and Paul straight up said "no, but we can go get some alcohol if you guys want" lmao talking about wanting to get us drunk right away...

haha so We all get in Paul's car and we drive to the nearest gas station and they got like...3 cases of smirnoffs for us and a couple cases of beer for them...so we get back to the hotel and start playing some drinking games and in no time all the Smirnoff was gone and me and Melissa were pretty buzzed lol so Paul was like "well, we can go get some more alcohol, but you guys dont have to go with us"...he was refering to Joe and Melissa. It was pretty obvious he wanted to be alone with me lol. Anyway, so Paul and I left and as soon as we get in the car he was ALL OVER ME lol I was like "damn, chill" lol so we ended up making out for like...10 minutes and I was like "ok we need to go to the store before they start wondering what's taking us so long" so we get to the store and get some more alcohol and when we pull up to the hotel we made out for like 5 minutes and my phone started to ring. So I answered it and Melissa was like "where are you? you guys have been gone for a long time." and I was like "we're almost back." and she said ok and hung up. So we make out for like...5 more minutes and my phone rings again lol so I answered it and Melissa was like "are you back yet?" and I said no and she said "ok well call me when you get here" lol so...it was whatever. So we made out for about 10 more minutes and decide to go back up, so I called Melissa to tell her we were back. We get upstairs and Melissa and Joe were just chillin and we start drinking again. Well...I started feeling kinda sick. You know, when you drink too much and need something to eat. So Paul said he'd take me to get something lol so we left and drove around forever looking for a fast food place. There werent any AT ALL so we went back to the gas station, got a bag of chips and a little more alcohol and went back to the hotel. We park and start fooling around for a little bit when my phone rings and it's Melissa telling me to call her when we get back lol so we fool around for like...20 more minutes and I call melissa to tell her that we're back. So we get upstairs, finish what we can of the alcohol and the boys decide they should leave.

So we walk them out and on our way to the elevator, Joe gives Melissa his phone so she can put her number in there and I snatched it from her and loudly, I'm sure, said "Why does it say Megan?!" and she said "it doesnt!" but I swear it did...anyway, so she tries to get the phone back from me and I wont let her have it. So we get in the elevator and somehow we fall to the ground and she's pulling my hair trying to get the phone and I'm biting her arm so she'll let go of my hair and later we realized that there was this hella old white couple in the elevator with us, probably scared outta their minds lol.

I finally give her the phone and we get outside and say goodbye to the boys and go back upstairs. They call us like...10 minutes later talking about they wanna come back. So we said that was fine and they said they'd be back in about an hour. Well...I passed the effe out lol and later melissa said they tried to wake me up (I dont think they did) but they couldnt. So Joe stayed and Paul left...

Around 3 in the morning I wake up to find Joe and Melissa having sex in the bed RIGHT NEXT TO ME!!!! At first I thought I was trippin so I sat up to clear my head and as soon as I moved they acted like they were sleeping. It was lame lol but it was also really nasty and I got mad so I grabbed a room key, my cell, put my shoes on and left. A few minutes later I get a call from Melissa asking me where I'm at. I lied and said that I'd left the hotel and was walking down the street. She begged me to come back cuz I didn't know where I was going. So I said fine. I was sitting in the lobby when she came downstairs and we talked for a bit and went back up to the room and Joe was passed out. So...we all went back to sleep.

We wake up in the morning and it was so bizarre for Joe to be there because neither of us really knew who he was. He was a friend of a friend. A complete stranger to Melissa...and she'd slept with him...that hussy lmao...not to mention that he was married. But he and Paul both said that he was separated from his wife. We found out later that was a big fat lie.

Anyway, the rest of the story isnt too important. We ended up getting really lost and then decided to go see one of my friends who lived in the LA area...and we left. We were really hung over on our way home, and her air conditioner stopped working so it was really hot but we couldnt roll the windows down because it was raining outside. It was lame lol.


Aaaanyway, so a few months ago Paul got really mad at me because he'd found out that I'd lost my virginity to Ryan and he'd wanted me to lose it to him (why, I have no idea)...and we didn't talk for a long time and finally we started talking again, thanks to me. So he wants me and Melissa to go hang out with him and Joe in a few weeks...I'm assuming so we can do everything we did last time. It's different this time though, because Paul thinks that I'm gonna give him some. He said "I've been trying to get with you for three years almost." and I said "you wanted me when I was 16?" and he said "well no, but it's different now because you're legal" and I was like...uh...

I dunno what we're gonna do. Me and Melissa both want to go because it was hella fun but she's paying her own rent now and I dont have a job so money's tight...but I think we can do it. Then again, Paul called me yesterday and said that one of his friends might go and I was like "well, that'd be weird...he'd be the odd one out" so...I'm not really sure what's gonna happen.

That was a really fun trip though lol and the best part was that there was no strings at all. It was just something we did and then we all went home.





Aaanyways, the Puerto Rican called me yesterday. He said that he's on vacation and he wants to chill. I said that I'm busy for the next couple weeks, which is a lie, but oh well. So he's supposed to be here the day after we get back from LA. Should be fun. We'll see though...






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[*] posted on 5.26.2007 at 07:59 PM
May 26, 2007


My birthday present from Ryan came in the mail today. He did good. It's a really cute rocawear bag. I was thinking about him a lot today. I miss him. It's funny how well we go together. Not funny in the "ha-ha" sense...just...weird. It was completely random how we met and I wasn't even attracted to him at first. He's just so...remarkable. It's strange how you never know who's going to affect your life the most. He was a complete stranger and now he's my best friend.





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