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Author: Subject: A DAY WITH ONEMOGIN(REALITY OR DENIAL?)
onemogin
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[*] posted on 9.28.2005 at 02:30 AM
WEDNESDAY SEPTEMBER 28 2005


WHOA IT'S BEEN A WHILE. YEP IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE I WROTE IN HERE. SORRY FOR THE ABSENCE. I HAD SOME REAL HEAVY DUTY TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIESS. I AM BACK NOW. I AM REALLY HAPPY BECAUSE I GET TO GO SEE MY LILI NEXT WEEK. YEA I HAVE NOT BEEN THE GREATEST BUT I HAVE BEEN BLESSED. I AM SO ANXIOUS. I NEED TO CALM MY ASS DOWN. I KEEP THINKING ABOUT HOW LONG I AM GOING TO HOLD HER. I MIGHT NOT LET HER GO. I HAVE A TEST TOMORROW AND WELL I REALLY DID NOT STUDY FOR IT. AHH THAT'S WHAT'S CRAMMING IS FOR. MAN I MIGHT WANT TO GO TO BED. I HAVE SOME ENERGY FOR SOME STRANGE REASON. MEH . I BETTER KNOCK MYSELFT OUT. [Censored] THIS MUSIC IS GIVING ME FLASHBACKS. THAT THE THING IS THIS MUSIC IS OLDER THAN ME. STRANGE ISN'T IT. YEA I AM GOING TO BED. I WILL HOLLA ATCHA LATA JOURNAL. YEA THAT WAS SOME IMPROPER GRAMMAR. I DON'T CARE BECAUSE IT'S MY JOURNAL YEA. OK I'M DONE :rock:



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onemogin
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[*] posted on 10.15.2005 at 03:05 AM



FRIDAY/SATUDAY OCTOBER 14/15 2005 WHAT'S UP JOURNAL. I WAS LAZY TODAY. I DID NOT GO TO CLASS. I WENT TO WORK THOUGH. I BROTHER HAS TO GET PAID. TODAY WAS PRETTY SLOW THOUGH. THERE WAS NOTHING GOING ON TODAY. I DID SEE ONE OF MY FRIENDS WHO CAME IN FOR HOMECOMING. SHE IS THE SAME AS BEFORE. WHAT CAN YOU DO? MY BABY WAS DOING OK TODAY. SHE DID HAVE A HEADACHE EARLIER BUT SHE IS GOOD NOW. MY ROOMMATE GOT FIRED FROM ONE OF HIS JOBS TODAY. I DON'T KNOW WHAT FOR, BUT I WILL FIND OUT LATER. LET SEE WHAT ELSE. YEA LIKE I SAID NOTHING. THAT IS A FIRST. I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY. I HAVE NOTHING TO MARINATE ON. OH WELL. MAYBE NEXT TIME. LATA PEOPLE. :rock:



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onemogin
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[*] posted on 11.19.2005 at 12:03 AM
FRIDAY NOVEMBER 18 2005


HELLO JOURNY!!!!!!!!! I IAM BACK. YEP YEP. I TOOK A LITTLE VACATION. YOU KNEW I COULD NOT STAY AWAY. I LOVE YOU. OK WHAT HAPPENED TODAY? LET'S SEE. OH YEA. I WAS BAD TODAY. I WAS SUPPOSED TO GO TO CLASS TODAY BUT I DID NOT. I WANT MY DEGREE BUT I HATE GOING TO CLASS. (YES I KNOW I HAVE A BIG PROBLEM). MY PROBLEM IS CLASS SHOULD BE FUN OR AT LEAST INTERESTING. IT IS NOT. I DON'T CARE. THEREFORE I DON'T GO(BAD ONEMOGIN) MY GIRL HAS GOTTEN ON MY CASE ABOUT IT. I LOVE HER TO DEATH BUT WITH HER NOT BEING HERE IT IS EASY TO NOT GO. I WILL GET BACK ON MY BIKE AND GO TO CLASS NEXT WEEK AND THE REST OF THE SEMESTER.( WHICH IS LIKE 2 WEEKS YEA). SEE I GOT TO SCHOOL AND WORK JOURNY. I AM A GEMINI AND BOY I CAN TELL I WILL NOT MISS A DAY OF WORK FOR NOTHING. WELL ALMOST NOTHING.(HEEEEY BABY) OK BUT CLASS THAT IS NOT HAPPENING.I WILL MAKE UP THE SORRIEST EXCUSE NOT TO GO. IT USED TO CONFUSE ME. NOW I SEE WHY I DON'T MISS WORK.THEY FREAKING PAY ME MAN!!!! I WILL NOT GET PAID FROM GOING TO CLASS FOR ANOTHER YEAR. I AM YOUNG AND I NEED MONEY NOW. I KNOW IT WILL BE WORTH IT IN THE LONG RUN BUT DAMN. IT FEELS LIKE FOREVER. I WORK AT THE POST OFFICE TOO. I DON'T EVEN WORK 40 HOURS AND STILL BRING HOME MORE MONEY THAN MY FRIENDS( WHO ARE LAZY AS HELL) SO I AM LIKE I CAN DO THIS FOR NOW. NOOOO WHAT I AM MAD ABOUT IS THERE WAS ANOTHER POST OFFICE JOB. THE MAILMAN GIG. I PASSED THE TEST FOR THAT BUT NEVER GOT A REPSONSE. I KNOW KNOW WHY. I AM NOT MILITARY AND I STAY IN AM MILITARY TOWN. THAT SUCKS SO BAD BECAUSE I FOUND OUT THAT THEY MAKE, GET THIS $2600 EVER 2 WEEKS!!!! I ALMOST CRIED WHEN I HEARD THAT . MAN DO U KNOW HOW MUCH MONEY THAT IS!!! I MEAN IT IS NOT ALOT RICH WHITE PEOPLE BUT A BROTHER LIKE ME THAT IS GOLD. HEHEHEHEHE THE GOOD KNEWS IS THAT I AM ON THE REGISTRY UNTILL 2007. SO I AM PRAYING AND HOPING AND WISHING THE GET BACK AT ME. THE FUN I WOULD HAVE WITH THAT MONEY. CAN U SAY DODGE VIPER. YEA!! I KNEW THERE WAS SOMETHING ELSE. I AM GETTING A NEW CAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FINALLY I GET TO HAVE A STEREO, A/C, A WINDOW THAT WORKS, HUB CAPS OR BETTER YET RIMS, AND A WINDOW THAT WORKS. THANK GOD!!! I'M GETTING A CAR, I'M GETTING A CAR, I'M GETTING A CAR, HEY HEY HEY. PEACE.:rock::angel::devil:



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[*] posted on 12.3.2005 at 09:26 AM
SATURDAY DECEMBER 3 2005


Wow. I always keep taking these breaks. Sorry about that. First off I would like to thank God for my health and sanity(for now) Now let's begin. Now normally i would come in here and have a good ole time. I love writing in my journal even though i am not that consistant. Today is a milestone in my life. One of my best friends is now a life long enemy. I can forgive but I'd be an idiot to forget. Ok I have known dude for like 6 years. I thought we would be cool for life. I was wrong. It all started 2 months ago. Well really it was almost a year ago but the drama was 2 months ago. See we got an apartment together back in January. We we going to split the rent right down the middle. There was one problem though that i should have seen. this idiot did not want to pay ANY BILL whatsoever on time. I did not care because i was not paying the late fee, he was. My first mistake. My second mistake was trusting him. I had a job that was going to finished after the holiday. I was coming back, I just did not know how long it would take. So i was out of a job for a month in February. I told him that before i signed the lease. He was like cool I got you that month. My [Censored] believedhim. So when March came I asked him like two weeks before rent was due if he had my part. He said he had his. I was mad as [Censored]! I got my job back in time to pay rent with only the late fee. We signed a year lease so I knew i was in it for the long haul. Oh yea instead of paying rent this fool went to orlando. I had my doubts then but I could not do anything just hope he would pay his half. Ok let's fast forward 8 months and 8 straight late fees later. I was late twice, back March and in October(because I went to New YorK). He only worked on the weekend and in October I noticed he stop going to work. I asked what he was going to do and he started bitching. So i left him alone. I found out that his hours got cut and he would have only been getting $250 every 2 weeks. Then he was not given a raise after being there for 2 years. He had some good points to be mad but that's it mad. Man you got billls to pay. Be a man and go to work. He did not do that. Well he tried somewhat. he got a second job making less and thought he could just live off of that. Well that might have worked if A, he would have work BOTH jobs and B. if he would not gotten fire like the [Censored] he is. So anybody with common sense would have went back to the other job untill something came open. This fool sat around the house for 2 months doing nothing. When i say nothing. I mean he did not do [Censored]! That bum did not even take a shower no more than twice a week. Sick and digusting. I am glad we have our own bathrooms. Anyway it got real bad around last month. We got court papers the Friday before Thanksgiving. Our court date was the last Wednesday. Oh yea let me tell you how much our rent is and so forth. Our rent is $565 a month, late fees are $28, and court costs are $98. Ok so we go to court and the magistrate told us to pay by Dec 2, yesterday. That was the next time I got paid. Now it gets just straight ignorant. He told me that he was going home to get up some money from his family. He said he would call me back on Friday and come backo n Saturday. I was like ok. Do what you can do. I would have paid it last week but duh i did not have enough money. Now i told this fool i did not have enough money. He knows this is it. If we don't come up with the money the they come with the padlock and we are done. How about this idiot did not even come back. He bum did not even call me. Left me hanging. HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ONE OF MY BEST FRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WAS STABBED IN THE BACK MY BOY. Oh to top that the power bill was due and if we did not pay it the the lights og off. So i put out like $840 bucks yesterday. That was the first time i actually held that much money. i have had more before but it was all in the bank. HARD EARNED MONEY GONE DOWN THE DRAIN. i was highly pisseed! i was so mad that i was calm. this scared me because i am a very animated person when i get angry. i don't just do anything. I am still calm. I am angry but calm. I am afraid i will do something really bad if i see him. I don't want to see him ever again. That is for his own safefy. I am normally a cool guy but when you mess up my money you must not want to be around that long. i am a God fearing person but i have my limits and being on the verge of being evicted might push this brotha over the edge. The part the infuriates me is that he did not even try to contact me. I even called him numerous times only to be avoided. That only put oil on the fire. I always tell myself "never to wander from my heart's desires" but this time i might not want to take that advice. My desires will be his pain. He may not be able to walk away from them. ok journy thanks for listening i am still pissed. oh and no more roommates and my trust in my fellow man has dropped tremendously. oh and for black men well he has not helped out my brothers. oh well. :devil::devil::devil::devil::devil::devil::devil::devil::angel::rock:



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[*] posted on 12.5.2005 at 04:23 AM



Hey Journy. Today was a slow day. Nothing really happened. I woke up watched the game. My boys demolished Mr. Vick. I went to work. i came home talked to my girl. Now i can not go to sleep. Meh oh well it could be worse. I guess that is it for today. I will talk to you lata. Oh yea I still have not seen the bastard know as my ex roomate and I am going to the pawn shop tomorrow. YEA!!! peacae my people. :angel::devil::rock:



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[*] posted on 12.16.2005 at 12:46 AM
THURSDAY/FRIDAY DECEMBER 15/16


sup journal. today was pretty slow. it is wet and cold. if i had my girl it would be perfect because we could keep either warm. i will not see her for another month.( i hope ). i keep messing up. i am taking things to lightly. i love my girl alot and i am in love with her. i do have other female friends that i talk to . they are not regulay plutaonic friends. they are now but it started out different. one woman is a woman who i loved deeply but she did not feel the same. i don't have the same feelings for her anymore and i know i can have a friendship with her without jepordizing my relationship with my girl.( i am still hoping) since this woman was the last femaile that i have spoken to. i feel my girls does not like her for that reason and that she hurt me. i love my girl for that. i also believes that she gets offended when i speak of her. when i talk to her it is just small talk. that is it. yes we have talked about sex before but we had a history even though we are not speaking on those terms, that subject does come up. i don't think anything of it because i am confident in my love for my baby. nothing will tear us apart. she is having a hard time trusting me because of our rocky start. i understand that but it can get on my nerves sometimes. she is mad at me right now and i am afraid that i might lose her. i don't want the other girl. i want her. she is not threat. she hurt me and i have learned from my mistakes. i just think she is a great asset when it comes to advice sometimes. other than that i could care less. i say that all the time but my girl probably does not belleve me because i still speak with her. there is another female who i am cool with that my girl does not approve of. i know why because i did have sex with her ONCE. this was like months before we even started talking. she has a boyfriend and she just asks me to take her to work because she has no car and we stay in the same apartment complex. we hang out sometiems but we just watch tv or play with her puppy. that is it. she has no interest in me. she thinks of me as her brother. i mean i wkish my girl would see it like that but she can't. she has an ex who she talks to and i don't care because i trust her and i know she will not do anything to hurt me. i need to stop talking to thes two girls because it is putting a strainn on our relatongship. i have another female friend but she is half way across the country. i have know her for like 6 years. i did do something inappropiate but i am not with her. i am with my girl. i have made my choice. it was not a last resort or a rebound thing. i love her and only her. i yearn for her. i just wish she would not get mad when i say i spoke to this girl or that girl. i am only talking and that is it. nothing else. i am not flirting or anything. i don't know. i just want us to be happy like we were in the begining. well my [Censored] roommate came back. that bitch, it is a guy, got his stuff and gave me a lame excuse why he could not contact me. that dude said he could not use the phone he was ten or something. HE IS 24 YEARS OLD!!!! a grown ass man. he brought the cops with him because i changed the locks. yea like i waa going to let hime waltz in here get his stuff and leave without seeing me. yea right. he better be glad that the cop came with him. i told the cop that i was glad he came because either way they would have been at the apartment. i would have laid him out. gone for 3 weeks and we were on the verge of evicgion. i told him iright in front of the ocp that he did not give a [Censored]( sorry for the bleep) i told him he just needed to be a man and own up to his responsibilites. he had the nerve to act as if i did something wrong. he said "I wasn't mad at you" MAN I DID NOT DO ANYTHING WRONG!!! I PAID THE DAMN BILLS!!! ALMOST $1000 OF MY MONEY GONE, BECAUSE HE WANTS TO BE A BUM. (of course that was the edited version) he's an idiot and so is his whole family. they let him do that. he came up here last friday and tried to get his things then lol. i was at work. i got his ass. so his dad told him to come get his things. he was apologizing and saying he was going to pay me back. whatever. i will not see a damn dime. he is a slacker and i don't care if i ever see hime again. he was supposed to by my friend. 6 years does that not mean anything to him. i was there when other people rode him off. does anybody give a damn about my welfare nope. i could have been out in the street and he would have lifted a finger to help me out. then on top of that another one of my friends thought that i should feel bad for hime. WTF!. i almost went through the phone and knocked him the hell out. i have some clueless friends. my sister has been saying that for years. i might just have to roll solo and with my girl and family. friends nowadays are useless. mine are anyway. i am always so depressing when i write in my journal. let's see positive things.....hmmm......ummm....maybe in 2006 because i will be broke until February. i will just pray that i can hold out and also keep my sanity. i do have my girl hopefully she will not dump me other this mess i have put us in. well i guess that is it for tonight. i wonder if i can make it 2 nights in a row. we shall see peace.:angel::devil::rock:



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[*] posted on 1.1.2006 at 09:21 PM
JANUARY 1 2006 SUNDAY


Sup Journal. Today is the first day of the year. It is also the first day of the week. I know this year will be a big year for me. I am a year wiser and I will not make as many mistakes as i made last year. I will do more for me without being totally selfish. I know that I must treat others how i want to be treated. I am a good person that will not change.

In '06 though I will not have as many friends well not in the begining. I have learned that my family is enough for me and my girlfriend. i have some good friends back where i live but that is it. I will not let anybody get close to me again. I am through being naive.

I will be more consistent in what i do. I will be here everyday. I mean it everyday. I have decided to write a poem everyday to. I need to be more contructive. I need not to sit on my ideas. If you don't know me now. then this will just be the begining. I have been through enough within 3 months than i care to go through the rest of my life.

I am pretty bored right now though. I fasted today. I only fasted untill noon but none the less i fasted. I read some of the Bible too. My dad woul be proud of me. so would my mom. I read Acts. I was trying to figure out what to read and that stuck out to me. It was cool. I was feeling the apostles. They did not back down even when they got beaten. Then to top that the people who disobeyed God just dropped dead. If was for lying and stealing. In our day in time that is small compared to the things people do. Then again sin is sin to God. There is no weight. That really open my eyes.

I am also going to try to be happier this year. I know that is shocker for some readers because everytime i come in here i am complaining about something. I am whining most of the time. I need to be an adult and suck it up. A lot fo people in the world have worst off then I do.

How about those Panthers? YEA! They are in the playoffs and I can not be any happier. The beat the Falcons like they stole something. Micheal Vick who? Yea we did not punish him like we did in the first game but he got his. I was so mad about last weeks lost to Dallas that I though they were going to blow it. They came through. Now we need to stay hot so we can win the Super Bowl. I know next week will be a test but I have faith in my boys. We will be the Giants. They will go down on their own field. I am feeling up set city.

Ok i really love my baby. I wish she was not so far away. There are only 12 days left untill i see her. I am so happy about that. I NEED SOME LOVING!!!. Three months withoug sex is no joke. I need to be around her everyday. I guess it is a good thing too. I don't want our releationship to just be about sex. I mean the sex is great. I just want substance. Yep Yep.

I want to keep my internet on. I am behind in the bill. I need my money to pay other important bills like light cell phone and rent. Rent has benn paid and so has the light bill. The phone bill is next. It is a big one but i am good. I thank God for my parents, without them I would be screwed and in a really foul mood. I am in a bad mood but not that bad. I am in a realist mood. I know what needs to be done. So that's what I am going to do. Well I think that is it for this day of reallity or denial. Trust today was a day in reallity. I do not need denial anytime right now. Ok journy HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. THIS YEAR WILL :rock:

:angel::devil::angel::rock:




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[*] posted on 1.2.2006 at 12:59 PM
MONDAY JANUARY 2, 2006


What's up Journal. I got up somewhat early today. I really have not done anything. I just wanted to come in here and write something.

I did talk to my girl this moring. She is taking a shower as i write. Getting all fresh and clean. Too bad she is in another state. I need to see here prompley. I only have 11 days left. So i am good for now.

Today is supposed to be a day for me to clean up the kitchen. I don't really want to because well I just don't want to. Does that make me lazy? If it does i could really care less. IT'S MY HOUSE!!!!. That was a little out there. I am going to clean it up. I hate dirt. ewwwwww

I just want my hair to grow. I want a huge fro so i can get some decent cornrolls. I am being patient. That last time i did this it got ugly. I am mature now and i have more knowlege. So it shall work this time.

Yo Journey, guess what. I am not angry. I am happy. That is a change and I am going to keep it that way. Anger will not set me back. I am better this way. I get hardheaded when i get angry. I need a level head.

I did write my poem yesterday. I am going to write one today. i just need a theme. I have not posted them because well uhhh i think i want to share them with my girl first. She is a good critic. (so is everyone here, but she gets first dibs)

Well unless something happens today I will be on my way. Trust I will come back if something goes down. PEACE! :angel::devil::angel::rock:




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[*] posted on 1.3.2006 at 11:31 PM
TUESDAY JANUARY 3, 2006


Hey Journy. I bet you thought I forgot about you. Nope. I just wanted to wait to the end of the day to write in you.

Well let's see what did i do today. I did not do anything becausei was off. I am playing. I cleaned up the kitchen. I looked for appartments today. There are 3 that I like. The problem is will I have the money. I will have it. I know it.

I did go see some of my friends today. They disappointed me. My ex friend whjo left me with a mountain of bills called while I was there. They acted like i was not there. The acted as if I did something wrong. When I have done nothting at all. I was hurt. I did not say anything because that is their friend. I just wanted to be treated like a person that's all. I may have to cut ties with them. Oh well

That was bascially my day in a nutshell. I did not have anything to do. I am about to go write another poem. I hope that I do not get tire of this. meh. Well I gues that iis it for today. OH i think one those miners in West Virginia died. That was sad. I will find out the rest later. Peace.:angel::devil::angel::rock:




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[*] posted on 1.4.2006 at 03:11 PM
WEDNESDAY JANUARY 4, 2006


Sup Journal. Today is going kind of slow. I just got out of the shower. I am going to work in like forty five minutes. I mean really nothing is going on. My friend Melynda came over and used my computer this mornng. That is is it.

The miners are dead. Twelve of thirteen miners died. That is so sad. The worst part is that they lead the families to believe that the miners were alive. Three hours later they tell them that all but one is dead. That had to be hard. Then to top that off it was all on tv. It was weird to see all those people happy then see it go away like that. That was a rough way to die too. Rest in peace guys.

My first day back to work since '05. I hope nothing has changed. I have to step my game up. I need to keep this job. Christmas is over and they will be on me. I wil be alright. I am going to pray every day i go in there. I will have have this job for as long as I need it.

I only have 9 more days before I see my girl. It is sort of unreal. It's like she will be here in a week and 2 days. I don't know what to do. I am excited. I have to stay cool though. That is it for now. I might come back in here tonight. It depends. Peace. :angel::devil::angel::rock:




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[*] posted on 1.5.2006 at 02:05 PM
THURSDAY JANUARY 5, 2006


Hey Journal. It is beautiful outside. I just took my shower and i will be ready for work shortly. I got enough sleep last night. I woke up at eleven thirty. Yea it feels great to sleep in.

Texas beat USC 41-38 in the Rose Bowl last night. I am glad they won because I was sick and tired of USC getting all the hype. They played a great game. VInce Young is an outstanding quarterback. I can't wait to see him in the NFL. I have a bad feeling that he or Reggie Bush will be in my boys' conference. Carolina better go ahead and win the Super Bowl this year. We already have to worry about Micheal VIck. I mean damn.

Ok some sad news. My girlfriend is upset with me . She is not even talking to me. I can only get a text message out of her. It is my fault and I take the blame. I just don't want to lose her. You see i was supposed to stop talking to an old female friend of mine like weeks ago. I did but I called her once and she continues to text me. Well not anymore. I told her that she never cared and and she blew up on me and that was that. It's a shame that this did not happens weeks ago.

I don't know. I am not the same person i used to be. I swore up and down that I would not let past relationships determine the relationships afterwards. I guess i was wrong. Two years ago well maybe three this would not be going on. Getting hurt the way I did messed up my emotions. I stop caring. I should care more. I do love my girl. I just dont' to be hurt so I have my guard up. The problem is I am doing all of the hurting. It is some really dumb things. All I had to do was not respond to any of the woman's calls or texts. i did not respond to the calls. I made the call because something had happened. I just wanted to tell her. I was responding to the texts. That was wrong. The ends worked out in my favor but I should have just ignored her.

That is it for now Journal. I will be back lata.:angel::devil::angel::rock:




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[*] posted on 1.6.2006 at 11:21 PM
FRIDAY jANUARY 6, 2006


Sup Journal. This entry will be short. I did not do anything tody but work. We actually got some hours in today. I was shocked. I mean we were only getting 2 hours then bam we got like 5 today. That is what I am talking about.

I talked to my girl today. She was pissed but we worked it out. She wants me to stop talking to all of my female friends. I am working on it. She flipped the script on me too. I did a lot of things that if i were single would not be a big deal. She through it all at me as if she would do it. It really got to me. I was very jealous and upset. I don't think she would do those things. It did get my blood boiling. I might want to think in the future about what I do. I cam to a realization that I am acting like a jerk. I used to be just the good guy. I really did change and I do not like that at all. I am not that person. So tonight really did open my eyes. I will change for the better. Ok peace.:angel::devil::angel::rock:




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[*] posted on 1.7.2006 at 01:39 PM
SATURDAY JANUARY 7, 2006


Hello Journal. Today is a lovely day. The sun is out and the sky is blue. A perfect Saturday. The first Saturday of the year. The last day of the first week of the year. I have kept up with my journal entries and my poems. I have six poems and I will write my seventh today. I feel great. I just ate an apple and truet me that says alot. I am only sadden by one thing. I may not have enough money to keep my internet on. I really want to keep this up. I know I cam keep it up offline but I want so badly want to do it online too. We shall see.

Man this morning I had a crazy dream. It scared me so bad I had to call my girlfriend and my brother. My girlfriend calmed me down and my brother laughed at it with me. It was only a dream. It was just a weird dream.

The dream started out with my brother mishandling some eggs. These were not regular eggs. One was a dinosaur egg, and I do not know about the other. Something strange about the dream was that my whole family was at home. Now only my oldest brother and my parents are there. I was there, both of my brothers and my sister. Ok back to the dream. So I told my mom about my brother messing with the eggs. She just told me to cook breakfast....in my room. That's right there was a stove in my bedroom.(weird) So I cooked breakfast and told my brother it was done. This is the brother who mis handled the eggs,(HE DROPPED THEM!) He was mad at me and did not eatl. I was pissed. I cooked a lot of food. I guess it was just supposed to be for us because I was livid. The dream goes foward to where all of the children are in the living room. I think we are like in our late teens or early twenties( I am only 24, don't get it twisted). We all have computers and are on the internet. We are doing various things. Somebody on the net gets into all of our pc's. I am like what is going on. I figure out that this person wants us to fight each other. When I find this out I tell everybody to ignore it. It did not go well. My oldest brother, who is HUGE, went crazy. He got so angry so fast. I am the one who normally does that. While he was in his rage he picked and destroyed a TV and Game console( I don't know which one). I was immediately angered. I was not pissed just angry. I am not stupid. He is a big dude. So at first i was angry and calm but he would not calm down. This angered me even more. I told him to let it go about the person on the pc but nooo he let it get to him. So I get in his face forgetting about his size and only thinking about the destruction of my items. A bad idea but who cares he broke my stuff. Some way or another I got my other brother to take my side. The one and only time we decide to team up against him. in the past it was divide and conquer. He would just punk us. Hell I don't know what happened but we did not care anymore. My other brother did not do anything because I agot antsy. I picked up an iron and I was ready. Low and behold my huge brother found an iron. (where did all of these irons come from?) I start swinging. I am swinging as hard as i can. I just new i hurt him. This dude blocked every swing. Reality hit me. I angered my brother who was already pissed then I try(note i said try) to hit hime with an IRON!. It was game over. (or was it)

The strangest thing happened. My huge brother turned into a can of spray. I was like what in the hell? I don't know who prayed for me but i was not asking questions. I saw a cap and put it on top of the can. hehehe It was about to get fun. My other brother, my sister and myself took the can outside and started kicking it around. We through that can all over the place. Then we saw our mom's car coming up the street. My dumb ass brought the can back inside. So instead of just letting the madman stay inside, i freaked. I popped the cap and sprayed him on the floor. I knew that he would come back to normal if I did that. I don't know how I knew it I just knew it. So after I sprayed the entire can on the floor something was forming in the paint. It said" I AM GOING TO KICK YOUR ASSES!"

The dream conviently black out on me. It came back laterat dinner. The thing was that we were all outside and my Dad just came home. He sat down and looked at me. I looked like hell. I don't know but I think he(huge brother) beat me with the iron. Huge brother told my dad everything was ok. I started to speak and my sister told me to forget about it. She must have been smoking somthing because my Dad would know about this beating. I told my Dad that "No everything is not alright. He beat the [Censored] out of us" ( sorry for the cursing but I remember that clearly:angel: ) My mom was apalled( I hope I spelled that right) by my language. My Dad is a pastor....nuff said. I told her I could not hold it back. She started to cry and ask me to get saved. I ignored her and told my dad what happened. He was calm as usual and then took his belt off and beat huge brother like he stole something. I thought that was it. A happening ending. He got his for beating me. Then my mom got up and was balling. She really was tore up. Then my Dad seemed as he was floating on something. He told me if i wanted to come to them at any time and get saved that it was ok. ( ok ok I knew i was dreaming at that time and THAT WAS FREAKY!!!! IT GETS BETTER) So I am all shocked. My sister then tries to lecture me. She said that i should have kept quiet. I told her that is the difference between us. I will not take this from anyone. She then looked at me and told me that she has already been punished for what she did. I was confused then. She turned red and told me " I can not bare chidren" WTF!. When did that happen. I woke up after that.

So Journal. You see why I had to call my girlfriend. That was some freaky mess. I had 2 other dreams but I let them slide. This hit me hard. What does it mean. I don't know I just don't want anything bad to happen to my family. That is what bothers me the most. My direct family were the only people in the dream. Ok Journal that is it for today. i will talk to you lata. Peace. :angel::devil::angel::rock:




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onemogin
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[*] posted on 1.8.2006 at 11:31 PM
SUNDAY JANUARY 8, 2006


Sup Journal. Today was a good day. It did start off cold but it warmed up lata. i worked 6 hours today. I was so tired. I haven't worked that long in months. I was happy too, My boys won today. GO CAROLINA!!! CHICAGO I SMELL REVENGE IN THE AIR. WE WILL NOT LOSE TO YOU AGAIN NEXT WEEK. I really talked alot yesterday. So I will holla atcha lata. Peace oh yea Carolina will win the Super Bowl this year Super Bowl XL.( i have to be specific) peace:angel::devil::angel::rock:



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onemogin
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[*] posted on 1.9.2006 at 09:17 PM
MONDAY JANUARY 9, 2006


Hey Journal. Today I woke up with a sore arm. I think it is because of my makeshift desk. The mouse is to low. It really sucks. I just want this week to go by. I get to see my girlfriend Friday. YES!!! NOTHING BUT LOVIN' THIS WEEKEND. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. 3 freaking months. It's been awhle. I want to go back to school but i can not right now. I am short on money. I owe the school like 830 dollars. Which would have been paid if it was not for my roommate. He really did a number on me. I will not speak on that.

I got more work in today. I am happy about that,. There is really nothing else going on. I just want to have a daily online journal. Well unt Time Warner turns it of. (anybody with 85 bucks can contribute that to the onemogin fund at any time.....meh i tried) It was a resolution of mine.I will keep it. This year I am going to blow up. Yep Yep. I have 8 poems and will write the ninth one later toniight. I need to write longer poems. That is one of my flaws right now. I am working on it.

Ok that is it for tonight. THE carolina Panthers will beat the Chicago Bears Sunday. I am calling it. We shall win Super Bowl XL(40). I am taking it a week at a time. peace:angel::devil::angel::rock:




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