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Author: Subject: Coach's Corner
Coach707
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[*] posted on 12.4.2006 at 09:13 AM
Coach's Corner


Im a little nervous about keeping an online journal. This is like some real world/making the band type ish! My life, my thoughts out there for the world!


Now that I think about it, It might not be so bad......


Its definately worth a try.




"Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds"

W.I.N
(What's important NOW!)


!AHTORB YM NOISSIM YM IS NEM LLA TCEPSER DNA EVOL WOHS OT

Of course we want to find solutions to our problems, but when what we want conflicts with what we expect, we always get what we expect, not what we want.

Im sorry, but I am all for self...... Self reverence, self knowledge, and self control.



"Some of the biggest failures in the world are those who have never failed."

"Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is why so few people do it."

Coach
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Coach707
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*****




Posts: 2007

Registered: 2.6.2006

Location: Florida

Member Is Offline


Mood: No Mood

[*] posted on 12.4.2006 at 09:59 AM


When I think about the situation with my ex girlfriend, and how things ended I really get a terrible feeling in my stomach. Some of the things that we had to go through in those 3 years were mentally draining. 2 weeks after I broke up with her for lying to me about her alleged birth control pill “problems” I find out that she’s pregnant. I don’t know if its because I feel that I am too young or not ready to have a child, or because its HER that I am having the child with, out of wedlock and not even in the same home as my unborn child but I cant understand why I feel that this is the worst thing in the world. I’m 25 years old, and I have to keep reminding myself that fact. Sometimes I feel that I am 5 years younger. Probably because at this point I have not accomplished the things that I planned to by the time I reached this age. I look around me and I see black men with a children scattered all over the place and they are not a regular figure in these children’s lives. I see baby’s mamas raising black boys to be men (the best that they can) and it’s definitely not their job to do that. I don’t want that for my child. For the first time in my life I can honestly say that I cried like hell when I found out that she was pregnant. I always thought that when it came to women, I was unbreakable. I truly believed that there was NOTHING that a woman could do to hurt me. I believed that there was not enough love in the world to get me to the point of losing my composure. I was WRONG! Of course, I take my share of the responsibility for what has happened. Some might say, “Well if you are not ready for a child then you should not be having unprotected sex.” They would be absolutely right. I cannot deny my part in making this child, but the way things happened is not right. I cant help but to feel like I have been hoodwinked.


We have been apart for 1 month now. On the real, I don’t miss her ass one bit! I am concerned though. She “said” she was about 8 weeks pregnant. She has not been to the doctor though. For all I know she could be two months! I really feel bad because the hardest thing that I had to do was say goodbye to her son. He was my lil man. I took care of him like he was my own. I will never forget the day that I met him. He was 2 years old when I met his mother. The first time I actually came over to her place and he was there he was running around like a little monster! I was like okay, maybe he just had some candy or something. He ran over to the kitchen table and tried to grab her car keys. She took them away from him and told him no, he could not have them. This kid fell down to his knees and began to BUMP HIS HEAD on the tile floor! I was shocked! And I knew then that I would have to do something about this if I expected to be with his mother. 3 years later he was like a little soldier around the house. All he needed was a little structure and discipline. Now that structure is gone and he’s back to his same old stuff again. Last week she called me to come over to her house and told me that it was “important.” When I get there I’m thinking that she has something really important to say to me about our situation. Instead she tells me that Zach had been in a fight at school and she needs me to talk to him. I told her that I would talk to him, but she needs to get some kind of backbone if she expects him to listen to HER. I asked her if she was going to call me every time he acts up in school. I would hope not. I would hope that she learned in those 3 years of seeing how I interacted with her son how it should be done. She insists that since I’m a man, Zach will listen to me over her. I totally disagree with that. I believe its all about HOW you parent your child, not whether the mother or the father is doing the parenting. I told her that its not that she can’t discipline him, it’s just that she is trying to be his friend AND his parent and those two elements don’t mix. I talked to him and reminded him of his purpose of going to school. He recited the two things that I have embedded in his mind like there was no problem. He goes to school to “listen” and “learn.” He understand that concept very well for a 5 year old, it’s just that children, especially black boys need a short rope. You really have to stay on their butts because they are heavily influenced and are constantly testing the boundaries of life. I try to tell her that she needs to get it together. If she doesn’t discipline him, it won’t be long before he’s whipping her. I love that little boy probably more that I loved her……




"Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds"

W.I.N
(What's important NOW!)


!AHTORB YM NOISSIM YM IS NEM LLA TCEPSER DNA EVOL WOHS OT

Of course we want to find solutions to our problems, but when what we want conflicts with what we expect, we always get what we expect, not what we want.

Im sorry, but I am all for self...... Self reverence, self knowledge, and self control.



"Some of the biggest failures in the world are those who have never failed."

"Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is why so few people do it."

Coach
View user's profile View All Posts By User U2U Member
Coach707
Platinum Member
*****




Posts: 2007

Registered: 2.6.2006

Location: Florida

Member Is Offline


Mood: No Mood

[*] posted on 12.5.2006 at 09:12 AM


I’m sitting here trying to make sense of my current situation. I am about to be a father. And regardless of the resentment that I feel for the mother of my child, she is just that, the MOTHER of my child. Every time we talk it somehow turns into an argument. All I want is some clarity to this picture, but she seems to want to keep me out of the loop. I don’t know if she’s playing games or if everything that has taken place is coincidental. There’s no future for her and I, I guess I will have to settle with being a “baby’s daddy” although I hate that term and everything that it has come to be. I’m willing to bet that there are a lot of brothas in this world who have a hard time being apart of their child or children’s lives because of some crazy broad who is into playing head games. I don’t want to be that guy because no matter what the situation is, that guy will always be seen as a “dead beat daddy.” I’m mentally drained from this situation and the baby is not even born yet! I wish that I were a little more prepared financially, and that’s the main reason why I didn’t want a child at this moment. She hasn’t told her mother or her family WHY we are not together, and I don’t think that they will ever know the truth. All they know is that I left and she’s pregnant. I can’t help but to think that this is the picture that she wanted to paint of the situation. I can honestly say that I am not surprised. She’s one of those people who ALWAYS wants to be the victim, and always wants to use her victimizations to manipulate you or the situation to get things how she wants them to be. Yesterday I found out that she told my mother that I didn’t want anything to do with the pregnancy! She said, she “assumed” that I didn’t! Where the hell would she get an idea like that? Because I am no longer with her? Because I was HIGHLY upset when I found out that she was pregnant? I didn’t know, but I called her to try to get some understanding and it turned into an argument.


My mother is excited about having a grandchild. She doesn’t like HOW it was conceived, but she feels like its all about this child that is about to come into this world. She say’s she doesn’t want “her grandbaby” to be around all of this chaos. I agree. And believe it or not, I try. I think that things would be a little easier for me if this woman would talk to me about what went wrong. I STILL don’t know WHY she stopped taking the pills. I still don’t know what “problems” she was supposedly having that was so “embarrassing” that she could not tell me. What could be so embarrassing not to tell a man who you lived with for 3 YEARS?? I mean, I would think that I saw all there is to see! I have literally watched her several times change a bloody tampon. I’ve seen her take a crap and wipe her butt, so beyond stuff like that what could be more embarrassing? I want to go over to her place and talk to her, but I know that the conversation is going to head south if I ask these type of questions. I feel that I deserve answers. I am going to go over there to talk and conduct “business” and I will leave my ego and pride in the car for the sake of my child. Maybe we could have a productive conversation………




"Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds"

W.I.N
(What's important NOW!)


!AHTORB YM NOISSIM YM IS NEM LLA TCEPSER DNA EVOL WOHS OT

Of course we want to find solutions to our problems, but when what we want conflicts with what we expect, we always get what we expect, not what we want.

Im sorry, but I am all for self...... Self reverence, self knowledge, and self control.



"Some of the biggest failures in the world are those who have never failed."

"Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is why so few people do it."

Coach
View user's profile View All Posts By User U2U Member
Coach707
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*****




Posts: 2007

Registered: 2.6.2006

Location: Florida

Member Is Offline


Mood: No Mood

[*] posted on 12.6.2006 at 11:09 AM


I’m definitely having a better day than the previous two. I wasn’t able to sleep much last night, but I don’t feel tired. I called my “baby’s mama” yesterday afternoon to schedule a sit-down with her so I could try to get some answers out of her. She never returned my call. I woke up at 2 in the morning with a lot of questions on my mind, so……I called her. She was loud and disrespectful throughout the whole conversation; cursing and talking over me. Maybe I was wrong for calling her that late at night, but I just wanted to know why she never returned my call. All I wanted to know was what could be so important? I couldn’t sleep until I asked that question, and although I still don’t have an answer she’s showing me her true colors. I see that I am in for a roller coaster ride with this woman and my child. I don’t want my child to have to be raised drama and dysfunction, but it doesn’t look like I have a choice. Getting back with her is totally out of the question.

I don’t know why, but every since I have started dating I have not been able to stay out of serious relationships. I have not had very much time to concentrate on ME. I think that I need to do some serious soul searching before I get involved in another committed-long term relationship. I need to reevaluate the things that I want, and the things that I have to offer because somewhere along the line I lost track. For me, it’s not about love or marriage; it’s about surrounding myself with positive people. Along with preparing to be the best father I can be what more could I do?




"Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds"

W.I.N
(What's important NOW!)


!AHTORB YM NOISSIM YM IS NEM LLA TCEPSER DNA EVOL WOHS OT

Of course we want to find solutions to our problems, but when what we want conflicts with what we expect, we always get what we expect, not what we want.

Im sorry, but I am all for self...... Self reverence, self knowledge, and self control.



"Some of the biggest failures in the world are those who have never failed."

"Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is why so few people do it."

Coach
View user's profile View All Posts By User U2U Member
Coach707
Platinum Member
*****




Posts: 2007

Registered: 2.6.2006

Location: Florida

Member Is Offline


Mood: No Mood

[*] posted on 12.7.2006 at 12:06 PM


Today is definitely a better day. I have been having a pretty rough week, so its always good when I can bounce back with a win. Mon, Tues. and Wed. were all losses for me, but I definitely racked up a win today! I’m not tripping about those three losses because the team that wins the Super Bowl this year will not be able to claim that they won EVERY game. In life, you win some, you lose some. As long as you win more than you lose that’s all that matters.

I have been single for about a month now, and I think that part of the reason that I received 3 straight losses this week was because of my sexual frustrations. After “getting some” early and often for 3 years I guess my body was not agreeing with the temporary act of celibacy. I can’t believe that I was in need of some that much! I was wanting sex like some crazed sex junkie! I couldn’t believe that it affected my mood and my attitude which ultimately affected my days and my week! This was definitely something new for me. I would have never guessed that I, of all people would I didn’t think I would get emotional about not getting any. Although it seemed to be beyond my control, this was a serious dilemma for me being as though I thrive on always being in control of self. I’m not a one night stand kinda guy, so that was out. I don’t find excitement in having sex with a girl that I don’t even know. However, I didn’t want to send the wrong signals to a woman by getting really close and being intimate with her and all the while telling her that I don’t want a relationship. Regardless of all of this, I had to solicit a female “friend” of mine because I couldn’t take it any longer. Surprisingly, she was on the same level! She told me that it’s okay to do the damn thang because “she has needs too.” That’s all I needed to hear. I went over to her place last night and wore her :rump: out! I was all in it like......:lickme: She was asleep before I could put my clothes back on! And I feel like the 500 pounds of stress has been lifted. Its amazing how this tool between my legs could be the key to a dim outlook on a day, or a refreshing feeling of calmness and serenity.




"Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds"

W.I.N
(What's important NOW!)


!AHTORB YM NOISSIM YM IS NEM LLA TCEPSER DNA EVOL WOHS OT

Of course we want to find solutions to our problems, but when what we want conflicts with what we expect, we always get what we expect, not what we want.

Im sorry, but I am all for self...... Self reverence, self knowledge, and self control.



"Some of the biggest failures in the world are those who have never failed."

"Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is why so few people do it."

Coach
View user's profile View All Posts By User U2U Member
Coach707
Platinum Member
*****




Posts: 2007

Registered: 2.6.2006

Location: Florida

Member Is Offline


Mood: No Mood

[*] posted on 12.8.2006 at 09:23 AM


Friday’s are always good games. Surprisingly, although this week was a little tumultuous it still flew by! I’m definitely going to rack up a win today. Friday’s are like those fast break, uncontested lay-ups that are almost impossible to blow. After losing 3 in a row, I am now rocking a 2 game winning streak and I think I’ve got my swagger back after getting some much needed sex earlier this week!


I am currently reading this great book entitled “Season of Life” by Jeffrey Marx. It’s about this former professional football star turned Minister and high school football coach. The reason that I bring it up is because in this book they define and describe some very interesting issues with men. The author is interviewing this Minister and Coach, and of the many things that they discuss, the thing that is discussed the most is the idea of “false masculinity.” The author tells us that there are three different elements to false masculinity that as a society we have accepted and used to gage what separated a real man from a boy. Those three elements are: Athletic ability, sexual conquest and economic success. The more that I read, the more that I found concrete examples of how this theory is absolutely true. I began to question whether I am affected by ideas of false masculinity. I began to ask myself serious questions about WHY I do certain things. I wondered if I was obsessed with the act of proclaiming myself MAN to the world. All answers pointed toward no, but I couldn’t help but to take a serious look at myself and ask some tough questions like: Why are you so passionate about Football? Why do you NEED to have sex? Were did your ideas of success come from? How much of a factor does economic advancement play in your pursuit of success? Do the two go hand and hand? According to the Minister/Coach in this book, success is not about any of the above. He says that success is about relationships. The relationships you build with people over time are the true measurement of success. He brings up this point, how can a man consider himself successful if he is a wealthy business owner, yet he has failed at marriage and does not know his own children? He says that those relationships and the act of making those relationships work with friends and family is what will always remain. I’ve come so far, but still I have so far to go…………




"Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds"

W.I.N
(What's important NOW!)


!AHTORB YM NOISSIM YM IS NEM LLA TCEPSER DNA EVOL WOHS OT

Of course we want to find solutions to our problems, but when what we want conflicts with what we expect, we always get what we expect, not what we want.

Im sorry, but I am all for self...... Self reverence, self knowledge, and self control.



"Some of the biggest failures in the world are those who have never failed."

"Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is why so few people do it."

Coach
View user's profile View All Posts By User U2U Member
Coach707
Platinum Member
*****




Posts: 2007

Registered: 2.6.2006

Location: Florida

Member Is Offline


Mood: No Mood

[*] posted on 12.12.2006 at 07:49 AM


I’m back at it again! After a great weekend it seems that I am back too soon. Oh well, I can’t complain because I certainly wouldn’t want to look like an ungrateful prick. I am proud to go to a job everyday because I know many people who can’t say the same. And although I have not accomplished all that I want at this very moment, I am proud to say that I have found something in life that exploits my strengths and exposes my weaknesses so that they too can become strengths. Coaching football has done all of that and then some. So I reflect on all that is good as I write this piece, and I celebrate my “coming of age” right now even though I can’t tell you exactly when the process began. If I can stay focused and motivated to unlock all of the unscathed potential, you can bet that my family, my community and my existence will be changed forever and all will bear witness to one of the greatest men they have had the privilege of knowing. I just hope one of the greatest doesn’t mean the most perfect, because that I am far from.

I ask myself right now, am I addicted to consuming? Have I been brainwashed by television commercials, billboard signs, radio broadcasts, magazines and newspapers to believe that I NEED to spend money? Why am I so at odds with the act of saving? Am I sub-consciously addicted to the endorphins released when I swipe my bank card? I’m not here to make excuses; I believe that before I can do something about my problem I must first get to the root of it. (if there even is a problem) I am talented and knowledgeable about many things, but I have not yet mastered the art of KEEPING MONEY. Why does it seem like as soon as you decide to become disciplined enough to start saving something comes up that requires your immediate attention and ohh yea, your MONEY!? If investing and business owning is in my future I am going to have to come up with some kind of plan. I am in a position to be able to save a lot of money, but its going to take something that I don’t have a lot of; WILL POWER. I know that nothing in life comes without sacrifice. I guess those nights of shooting pool and drinking beer will have to come to a halt. But is sacrifice just another word for miserable? I tried to stay at home this weekend in order to save some money and I was bored out of my mind! Maybe it is just a mind over matter situation. Its definitely something I need to work on. Its nothing for me to spend 80-100 on one night of playing pool (gambling) and drinking………. I know, I know I’m terrible! Definitely not conservative when it comes to social outings am I? Its going to change…….. After Christmas I promise!




"Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds"

W.I.N
(What's important NOW!)


!AHTORB YM NOISSIM YM IS NEM LLA TCEPSER DNA EVOL WOHS OT

Of course we want to find solutions to our problems, but when what we want conflicts with what we expect, we always get what we expect, not what we want.

Im sorry, but I am all for self...... Self reverence, self knowledge, and self control.



"Some of the biggest failures in the world are those who have never failed."

"Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is why so few people do it."

Coach
View user's profile View All Posts By User U2U Member
Coach707
Platinum Member
*****




Posts: 2007

Registered: 2.6.2006

Location: Florida

Member Is Offline


Mood: No Mood

[*] posted on 1.4.2007 at 11:28 AM


I know what you’re thinking. It has been a minute since my last entry! It’s okay though because I am back from Christmas break and in the midst of a new year. There’s definitely a lot that’s going to change for me in ’07. The main thing is that I am scheduled to be a father! That in itself is going to be very interesting. Assuming everything goes as planned; I will be a father around mid July. The feeling is bitter sweet, but I can’t help but to lean more toward the sweet when I think about being a father for the first time. I have heard many times that becoming a father changes a man. I often think about what it would be like for me, but I can’t come to imagine how it would be to have a child of my own.

For some reason, I have been reading a lot more lately. I don’t know if it’s a maturity level that I have reached, but I have never been so into books the way that I am now. In my younger days I would read, but only the sports section of the news paper, or a sports magazine or something of that sort. Now it seems that there is so much more that pertains to me and that interests me. I guess I am getting older!


I hate making New Years resolutions because by mid March they seem to be old and forgotten. However, I do have some goals for 2007 that I would like to accomplish. I want to get seriously disciplined when it comes to saving money. And I want to be more health conscious, specifically when it comes to exercise. I’m not getting any younger and there’s no better time than the present to do a better job of taking care of my temple.




"Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds"

W.I.N
(What's important NOW!)


!AHTORB YM NOISSIM YM IS NEM LLA TCEPSER DNA EVOL WOHS OT

Of course we want to find solutions to our problems, but when what we want conflicts with what we expect, we always get what we expect, not what we want.

Im sorry, but I am all for self...... Self reverence, self knowledge, and self control.



"Some of the biggest failures in the world are those who have never failed."

"Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is why so few people do it."

Coach
View user's profile View All Posts By User U2U Member
Coach707
Platinum Member
*****




Posts: 2007

Registered: 2.6.2006

Location: Florida

Member Is Offline


Mood: No Mood

[*] posted on 1.5.2007 at 11:01 AM


??Introverted Questions from Questions of Questions to Question??


I often wonder what life is really about. I analyze why we as humans do the things we do. Are we afraid of our own creativity so we choose to copy trends and follow suit? Are we afraid of being alone so we desperately search for love? Are we afraid to die so we convince ourselves that there is something after life? I think a lot about the people that were here before me and those that will follow. What our past and present says about our future. Have we made progress as black people since the Civil Rights movement? Or are we victims of modern day slavery and 21st century lynching? I often wonder does it even matter. Are we giving the negative aspects of being black in America too much power? Is the perception of those demonic transgressions far worse than the reality? If so, are we justified by feeling that what happened in our history can and will repeat itself just as everything else? I look around me and I see people who are free to do ANYTHING they put their minds too, yet they probably feel remote to what our African slaves felt on those plantations a century ago. I wonder is it REALLY their fault? How can we hold every man accountable for self when Civil Rights leader W. E. Dubois told us that the “talented tenth” amongst the black population will need to lead black America? We seem to be making a mockery of what black activists, philosophers, educators, and writers stood for because it’s not about who’s the most talented, intelligent or who has the most potential anymore. Its now about who has the latest gimmick or the most material valuables. Am I complaining? I don’t think so; I think that it’s a cry for change. I want to see more black people doing well. It’s not enough to have a handful of black millionaires, a few black billionaires and a good percentage of blacks within the working middle class in America. Everything was put in perspective about how blacks are viewed in this country when the Katrina tragedy took place. Sure, they’ll sacrifice having a few blacks in congress, and allow a couple more to have more money than they can count, but the masses will and are still left behind, while those successful blacks inadvertently exile themselves from black civilization and seem to make a class of their own that’s too successful, wealthy and proper to relate to anything black, and will always be considered a “token [Censored]*r” to whites. Is this the price for success? Do I have to compromise my blackness in order to provide a better quality of life for me and my family? Do I have to be considered a “sell out” in the community just because I make a little money? Why? With the increasing number of Mexican immigrants hopelessly yet optimistically invading America in hope of finding a better life, the increase in Hispanic Americans bull dozing their way into middle class America, the influx of Chinese, Asian and Japanese people taking claim of American citizenship, and the impact of Arabian/Indonesian people in the black communities who stake ownership of convenient stores, beauty supply stores, discount liquor etc. etc, are black Americans slowly becoming “the other minority?” Isn’t it true that what we seem to take for granted the most, the same rights that non-black immigrants are fighting to obtain as we speak; the rights that our ancestors were tortured and deprived of is what we should be grateful for? Did blacks shed blood for the right to American citizenship, the right to equal opportunities, to earn a fair wage and raise a family in peace and tranquility? Or, are we to shun the American dream in search of something for us, by us? If that is true, if other non-white cultures accept to live within a European dominated society why cant we? Are we better than those ethic groups of people? Do we feel that we deserve more because of how seemingly devastating the impact of slavery was and still is on black people? Or are we really just a bunch of lazy, ungrateful, excuse making welfare recipients who lack self motivation and fail to see the value in knowledge and education?


:power:




"Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds"

W.I.N
(What's important NOW!)


!AHTORB YM NOISSIM YM IS NEM LLA TCEPSER DNA EVOL WOHS OT

Of course we want to find solutions to our problems, but when what we want conflicts with what we expect, we always get what we expect, not what we want.

Im sorry, but I am all for self...... Self reverence, self knowledge, and self control.



"Some of the biggest failures in the world are those who have never failed."

"Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is why so few people do it."

Coach
View user's profile View All Posts By User U2U Member
Coach707
Platinum Member
*****




Posts: 2007

Registered: 2.6.2006

Location: Florida

Member Is Offline


Mood: No Mood

[*] posted on 1.10.2007 at 10:29 AM


I was just thinking about WHY I threw myself into long term relationships, why I chose to "shack-up" with women and why I allowed myself to feel that "love" is the only thing that completed me. I realize that I allowed myself to be brainwashed into believing that that’s the only way that I could feel like my life was important. I have spent almost every second of my teenage years and 20s looking and being in and out of love. I never gave my self time for SELF DEVELOPMENT or career development and the sad part about it is those things were never higher on my list of priorities than finding love.

Like we have discussed before, this is the issue with relationships today, we have children who are falling in "love" at ages that are too young for them to rationalize what love really means. This leads to mixed priorities, and excess baggage that is carried on in their lives.....

Honestly, I can't do this to myself anymore. I was reading my high school diary last night and I was amazed at what dominated the topics! It was as if I was looking for a wife at the age of 17! I had no idea what it meant to be a MAN and yet I thought love was what I needed.

I hate to sound selfish, but its time for me to focus on ME. I have dedicated my whole life to pleasing others and being consumed by relationships. I am going to take this time as an opportunity to be by myself. If a good woman comes along then she is going to have to sacrifice before I give her everything that I have to offer! She going to have to SHOW ME that she is everything that a good woman is supposed to be and nothing that she should not be..... I can't jump into shotgun relationships anymore just because I meet a young lady and we have a lot in common.




"Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds"

W.I.N
(What's important NOW!)


!AHTORB YM NOISSIM YM IS NEM LLA TCEPSER DNA EVOL WOHS OT

Of course we want to find solutions to our problems, but when what we want conflicts with what we expect, we always get what we expect, not what we want.

Im sorry, but I am all for self...... Self reverence, self knowledge, and self control.



"Some of the biggest failures in the world are those who have never failed."

"Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is why so few people do it."

Coach
View user's profile View All Posts By User U2U Member
Coach707
Platinum Member
*****




Posts: 2007

Registered: 2.6.2006

Location: Florida

Member Is Offline


Mood: No Mood

[*] posted on 1.23.2007 at 09:09 AM


Wow…… I never thought that I would be enjoying the single life. I have been in and out of long term relationships since I was 17 years old, and after all that time I think that taking a step back from the love scene is soul therapy. Although I don’t particularly like it, I have to accept the fact that I have a “baby’s mama.” Truthfully, I thought about trying to reconcile things with her, but every time we talk she says some dumb sh*t and makes me realize why I left her butt in the first place. Women like her make it hard for the good sistas who know how to appreciate a good man. Oh well, it’s her loss. I will do the best that I can in raising my child in such inconvenient circumstances. My mother is ecstatic about being a grandmother. She’s already talking about how much she’s going to spoil this child. She’s already spreading the word around town to other mothers who are grandmothers as if she’s planning to pledge for some fraternity or something. I guess it’s cool that she’s happy about it, because I sure wasn’t! But the more time passes, the more I begin to warm up to the idea of being a father. My biggest fear is not being able to provide financially. My plan was to wait until I had enough savings to make sure that a child could be taken care of the way that it should, and that’s what I was working on when I found out she was pregnant. I guess I will have to make do with what I have going on now.

I have to give myself a round of applause, so hold on……. (Performing what some call a “golf clap”) I have been exercising regularly for over 2 weeks! I know that might not seem significant to some, but that’s a record for me!! I haven’t been this active since high school, and it feels great! I get up an hour before work and jump rope for 10 minutes and run for about 15. In addition, I have been making better choices in foods as well! (Wondering do I need to check my temperature! I must not be feeling well!) I have cut out or eliminated MOST of the foods that contribute to an unhealthy lifestyle. But wait a minute, its gets better! Not only am I committing to diet and exercise, I have also made steps to quit what is with out a doubt the worse habit I affiliate myself with. “Hi, my name is Timichel, and I am a NAIL BITER!” I have been biting my nails since I could remember, and I always made excuses like, “I bite them because I hate nails!” or “I don’t bite them because I’m nervous!” I finally decided to come to terms with myself and make a decision to change my life. If not for me, I want to do it for my child who is going to be watching my every move. I wouldn’t want him/her to pick up on such a nasty habit because he/she saw daddy doing it! I have been doing some research on the methods that others have used to kick this habit and I think that I feel comfortable with my method. Honestly, I don’t know if I bite my nails if I am nervous or not. I never feel nervous. Whatever the case, I know that it’s not worth the risk of my child picking up on this terrible habit.




"Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds"

W.I.N
(What's important NOW!)


!AHTORB YM NOISSIM YM IS NEM LLA TCEPSER DNA EVOL WOHS OT

Of course we want to find solutions to our problems, but when what we want conflicts with what we expect, we always get what we expect, not what we want.

Im sorry, but I am all for self...... Self reverence, self knowledge, and self control.



"Some of the biggest failures in the world are those who have never failed."

"Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is why so few people do it."

Coach
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Coach707
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Mood: No Mood

[*] posted on 3.12.2007 at 09:52 AM


I have been reading a very good book. It’s called The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Cove, and one of the most profound things that he says (so far) is that when things happen in our lives it’s easy to place the blame on others and allow those feelings of resentment, hurt, anger, embarrassment, etc. etc. Instead of focusing on HOW we respond, and what options we have based on the situation.





This got me thinking about the situation with baby mama. What’s done is done right? What good is it going to do to carry feelings of resentment for her around town? In this book it says that if we as humans have a responsibility or a “response-ability” when things happen in our lives. If what is said in this book is true, then I my response to the baby situation was cowardly and a pathetic display of allowing emotions control my actions……




"Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds"

W.I.N
(What's important NOW!)


!AHTORB YM NOISSIM YM IS NEM LLA TCEPSER DNA EVOL WOHS OT

Of course we want to find solutions to our problems, but when what we want conflicts with what we expect, we always get what we expect, not what we want.

Im sorry, but I am all for self...... Self reverence, self knowledge, and self control.



"Some of the biggest failures in the world are those who have never failed."

"Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is why so few people do it."

Coach
View user's profile View All Posts By User U2U Member
Coach707
Platinum Member
*****




Posts: 2007

Registered: 2.6.2006

Location: Florida

Member Is Offline


Mood: No Mood

[*] posted on 3.15.2007 at 09:31 AM


I believe that my life is taking a positive turn. I have implemented a daily meditation session in my somewhat busy schedule. Reading self help books has given me the understanding that my life needs balance. Lately I have been tapping into the resources of my sub-conscious mind, and working on re-programming it through positive affirmations and positive thinking in general..... I also am learning how to use visualization properly. The law of attraction is REAL! All my life I have gotten exactly what I have wanted, the problem is that what I have wanted turned out to be a whole lot of nothing! :cry:

Its sad, but I realize that I am fortunate to have been able to come to terms with myself. One of the most important quotes that I have been able to relate to in the 7 habits, is "Anytime we think the problem is out THERE, that thought is the problem."


My days have been as plesant and positive as ever since I have implemented these tactics...... Im just waiting for a test to see how I will hold up under pressure!


:power:




"Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds"

W.I.N
(What's important NOW!)


!AHTORB YM NOISSIM YM IS NEM LLA TCEPSER DNA EVOL WOHS OT

Of course we want to find solutions to our problems, but when what we want conflicts with what we expect, we always get what we expect, not what we want.

Im sorry, but I am all for self...... Self reverence, self knowledge, and self control.



"Some of the biggest failures in the world are those who have never failed."

"Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is why so few people do it."

Coach
View user's profile View All Posts By User U2U Member
Coach707
Platinum Member
*****




Posts: 2007

Registered: 2.6.2006

Location: Florida

Member Is Offline


Mood: No Mood

[*] posted on 3.16.2007 at 10:39 AM


Wow, I have a serious confession to make. Every since I could remember people have been asking me, “Why do you look so mean?” And for years I have used the excuse of being an abstract thinker as a scapegoat. I now know that I am socially retarded! I have been for some time now. Thus far this has been an amazing year for me. I am on a journey to true freedom, freedom from all restraints due to my memory, my past and my mistakes. I have a child that I am going to be responsible for soon, and I wouldn’t want him to think that this is what it means to be a man. You would think that by being emotion-less for so long and confiding and trusting only myself would give me more knowledge of self. But the truth is that it is self destructing because I found comfort in that dysfunction instead of working toward change. Many people go through an entire lifetime and never seek self-knowledge or self help. I am fortunate to be able to have the opportunity to say that I am getting to know ME better. I started out this year thinking that it was probably going to be the start of some of the worse years of my life, but through defining myself and focusing on self development I now see that this is just the beginning, the beginning of living my life instead of allowing life to live me like I have done for a quarter of a century. I don’t know what else to say but I am blessed!


Coach
:nod:




"Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds"

W.I.N
(What's important NOW!)


!AHTORB YM NOISSIM YM IS NEM LLA TCEPSER DNA EVOL WOHS OT

Of course we want to find solutions to our problems, but when what we want conflicts with what we expect, we always get what we expect, not what we want.

Im sorry, but I am all for self...... Self reverence, self knowledge, and self control.



"Some of the biggest failures in the world are those who have never failed."

"Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is why so few people do it."

Coach
View user's profile View All Posts By User U2U Member
Coach707
Platinum Member
*****




Posts: 2007

Registered: 2.6.2006

Location: Florida

Member Is Offline


Mood: No Mood

[*] posted on 3.29.2007 at 01:45 PM


Wow. I had an outstanding day! :tu:


Everyday is a step in the right direction for me. I look at all my obstacles as opportunities, and instead of allowing my circle of concerns to influence me I choose to focus on my circle of influence. I think this is the awakening!

Something BIG is about to happen. I can FEEL it!



Coach.:eyebrow:




"Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds"

W.I.N
(What's important NOW!)


!AHTORB YM NOISSIM YM IS NEM LLA TCEPSER DNA EVOL WOHS OT

Of course we want to find solutions to our problems, but when what we want conflicts with what we expect, we always get what we expect, not what we want.

Im sorry, but I am all for self...... Self reverence, self knowledge, and self control.



"Some of the biggest failures in the world are those who have never failed."

"Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is why so few people do it."

Coach
View user's profile View All Posts By User U2U Member
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