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thumbsup.gif posted on 9.19.2006 at 12:58 PM



Turn in your Bible to Psalm 65:4 (the New King James
Bible). It says, "Blessed is the man you choose and
causes to approach you. That he may dwell
in your courts and shall be satisfied with the
goodness of your house"

Pastor T. D. Jakes made a statement once that was
morbid but SO true! He said that when choosing a
mate, you need to ask yourself whether or not that
person is the one you would want to hold your hand as
you are lowering your parents' bodies into the grave
for the last time. That is serious. Meditate on that
for a few seconds. Your entire perspective is term.
Is what you are searching for in a mate should be
based on that one question.

Are you dating?
Think about your boy/girlfriend. Is he (she) seriously
the one you would want holding your hands during the
darkest hours of your life?

Look even deeper.
Is your present boy/girlfriend the type who would
offer you assistance during the time of grief?

Unbelievably, there are numerous men (women) out here
who offer absolutely NO comfort to hurting women
(men). And no, it does not matter whether they are
married to those women (men) or not! I wish you could
see some of the personal letters this site receives
from married people.

Yes, some of them are happy, praise God! However, the
ones who are not happy are miserable. There are no in
between. Either you are happy in a marriage or you are

There are married women (men) writing saying their
husbands (wives) never show authentic affection
towards them, never offer expressions of love for
them. That is real. Because it is so real, God desires
that women (men) are exceptionally careful when
choosing a mate. Notice I did not say that women (men)
should FIND a mate! I said, "Choose." There is a huge difference.

Turn in your Bible to Proverbs 18:22. It says "that He
who finds a wife finds a good thing" Interpretation:
MEN find women. Women should not be out trying to find
a man! HOWEVER, once found, the woman can then choose
to be with the man or to wait to be found by a
different man.

Proverbs 20:6 states, Who can find a faithful man? The
fact that the question is asked is indicative of the
fact that there are not many faithful men out there.
However, there is good news. The good news is that
JESUS knows where the faithful men are! ( AMEN!!!!)

Webster's New Collegiate Dictionary offers several
excellent definitions of the word faithful:

(a) Steadfast in affection or allegiance (b) Loyal (c)
Firm in adherence to promises or in observance of duty
(d) Conscientious

The scriptures say that a faithful man is difficult to
find. God is saying that it is hard to find a man
(woman) with the qualities in letters a, b, c, and d.
However, wouldn't you love to have a man (woman) with
the qualities listed above? They are rare. But GOD
knows where such men (women) are located.

Turn in your Bible to Ephesians 5:23. Scripture
states, for the husband is head of the wife, as also
Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of
the body.

Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so
let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved
the church and gave Himself for her, that He might
sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by
the word. That He might present her to Himself a
glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any
such thing, but that she should be holy and without

STOP! Now go back and re-read that passage. God is
offering us a blueprint on what to look for in a mate.
Let's pick that scripture apart.

1. The husband is head of the wife. That means that
you need to choose a man who is born-again. He also
needs to be a man under whose authority you will feel comfortable
submitting. It is dangerous to submit to
the authority of a man who is not saved or who does
not have a relationship with God.

2. The husband must love his wife as Christ loves the
Church. That is a tough one! Look at the degree to
which God loves His Church! He died for the Church
(the entire body of Christ). How does God love us? He
is kind, patient and nurturing to the Church. Those
are the qualities you need to search for when
determining who to marry.

3. The husband must sanctify, cleanse and wash his
wife with the Word of God. Again, only a born-again
man can wash you with the Word of God. Think about the
dating ritual. Boy meets girl, they date, start to
care deeply, and the subject of sex pops up.

Question: HOW will the man handle it? God says that it
is the responsibility of the man to see to it that he
presents a woman clean and holy. If he is fornicating
with her, how can he present her as clean and holy?
Sex outside the marriage bond is dirty. Therefore, if
you find yourself with a man trying to fornicate with
you, you have the wrong man.

God says that He presents the Church (His Bride!)
without spot, wrinkle or blemish. Your future husband
must present you at the altar without spot, wrinkle or
blemish. This is important. Please listen so that you
don't end up miserable.

In Ephesians, 5:31 the scripture states that, For this
reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be
joined to his wife, and the two shall become one
flesh. This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning
Christ and the church... God hates divorce. However,
He also hates abuse. God does not want you physically
or mentally abused. He certainly does not want you
disrespected by a man (woman) committing adultery
against you.

Too many women (men) in this country, in their quest
for a mate are settling with people who are not worthy
of them. The reason so many people are in
unhappy marriages is that they latched onto the wrong
person to please society, family or friends. Now they
are stuck with a mean, unaffectionate, or abusive
mate. It is not too late for you. If you pick the
right mate from the beginning, you will not end up
hurt and miserable (divorced).

Listen carefully, GOD says that when you marry, you
become ONE with that person. God no longer sees you as separate, but He
sees you and your mate as ONE person. We cannot fully comprehend it
because God says! it's a great mystery! Think about your

Do you see yourself
becoming ONE with them? If you
have problems after marriage it's because something
was broken before marriage (that was obviously
ignored). If you do not have a boy/girlfriend yet,
GREAT! Now you know what to look for! Too many people
are getting married multiple times. God is not pleased
with that. He sees it as adultery. It is His will that
we marry once, create a family with that one person ,
and be happy ... ecstatic in that marriage. The
scriptures also states, the man shall leave his

Check out the family of the man that you are
considering marrying! Are they always leaning on him,
trying to borrow his money? Are you in agreement with
them always calling him to the house to take care of
their personal problems? Guess what? It will not end
after marriage.

If he is giving them money now, he will
continue after marriage. If his family is leaching off of him now!
they will after marriage. The question is, can you
handle it? If not, now is the time to discuss the
problem. Don't wait. Too many men refuse to leave
their father and mother. Too many women refuse to
leave their parents. Extended families are famous for
breaking up marriages.

NOW is the time to get the problems straight. Finally,
how attracted are you to your future spouse? Please do
not marry if there is a shadow of a doubt that you are
totally attracted to them physically. Too many women
lose their husbands because after marriage they stop
having sex. The reason many women stop having sex is
because their husbands are cold, rude and abusive. If
you are married to a man who has the qualifications of
the "faithful man" listed above in this article,
you will be attracted to him forever, emotionally and
physically! Women who do not want sex with their
husbands are women who married the wrong man.

PLEASE ladies; do not marry the wrong man. Wait. In
Solomon 3:4, it is said, I found him whom my soul
loves. The reason she found the one whom her soul
loves is that she was PATIENT! Luke 21:19 says, in
your patience possess ye your soul. The interpretation
of that for a single person is that if you are
patient, you will meet the one whom your soul loves.

Regret nothing, not even your failures. Take in the
richness of only today because to carry any more will
only weigh you down. Do not look backwards.

The moment of absolute certainty over decisions made
never arrives, so make your decision and move on. The
Lord has promised to help with the burdens of today

Ask Him to grant you the wisdom and confidence in
making your choices and the ability to recognize when
new decisions need to be made.

"Great things are not done by impulse, but by a
series of small things brought together." - Vincent Van Gogh

Wait on the Lord!
For what God has put together let no Man (Woman) put asunder.

God bless you all know that the worst is over and the best is
yet to come.

"Faith is taking the first step, even when you don't see the whole

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own
understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your
paths straight"---Proverbs3:5-6--
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[*] posted on 9.20.2006 at 01:34 AM


Jealousy is a sickness!!!!!!
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[*] posted on 9.21.2006 at 11:33 AM

This is really good and a real eye opener.

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
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[*] posted on 9.21.2006 at 12:46 PM

Thanks for sharing this... I shall read it over and over again I suspect.
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[*] posted on 9.21.2006 at 01:34 PM

Originally posted by Love_Is_Key
Thanks for sharing this... I shall read it over and over again I suspect.

You all are welcome, I will certainly apply these things to my life, I have made poor choices in the past, but no longer!:yes:
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[*] posted on 9.25.2006 at 05:01 AM

Funny for a young black single male, I need that because I have ran into the wrong ones. I am tired to running into the wrong one.

Whether you have a Ph.D., or no D, we're in this bag together. And whether you're from Morehouse or Nohouse, we're still in this bag together. Not to fight to try to liberate ourselves from the men -- this is another trick to get us fighting among ourselves -- but to work together with the black man, then we will have a better chance to just act as human beings, and to be treated as human beings in our sick society.

Fannie Lou Hamer

"-The world is cold
-I thought you say it is getting warm
-world go one way, people go another"

Poot to Bodie on HBO "The Wire"


11/4/08 2200CST, The State of California:
"The clinching moment of a new day."
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[*] posted on 9.25.2006 at 09:03 AM

Excellent Post!:yes:


The age of a woman doesn't mean a thing. The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles. - Ralph Waldo
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