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Author: Subject: A Method to my Madness
JrHagler
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[*] posted on 3.23.2004 at 07:01 PM
A Method to my Madness


March 23rd, 2004...No work for me this morning and its a beautiful sunny day. Just came back from an appointment to sign up for supplemental insurance plan and 401(k) plan. Starting in two weeks, if I become injured on or off the job I'll receive 100 percent of my paycheck for three months. Then 70 percent after that. As for 401(k) plan, I can't afford to do it, but I can't afford not to!....15 percent will be my contribution and its up to the employer to decide the amount he'll contribute (no guarantees). But so far, I've check the record, its been dollar for dollar match for the last 4 years. And the business has added more customers this year. That's a 100 percent growth without investing in stocks or bonds. Mid-Cap value and large cap international are the two I'm interested in....

Speaking of planning, or the lack there of. I ran into Karen and her two children walking from downtown today. I've gave them a ride to their home on Market Street. This is the woman who brought a man into her house about two years ago and he hasn't contribute to the household. (because he doesn't work) Now her three children are rebelling and trying to literally get him to move out. The oldest one, my daughter's friend picked up a baseball bat to convince him (a spaulding size 32 I believe) but the mother defended him...this is incredible....I mean, a high schooler, a middle schooler, and a elementary child have more sense than the mother. The mother works two jobs to maintain the household. Had her car repossessed due to lack of payments and on the verge of losing her house which she bought 9 years ago. She finally got the nerve to tell the man to leave by the end of March. Personally, I think the only way he'll leave is when the bank take over the house. Well, we'll see who is the fool(s) on April 1st.
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[*] posted on 3.27.2004 at 08:02 AM
Bad Memories


March 27th, 2004...4:36 am. Morning Journal....I just read S.E.TG.'S War stories and I had this weird feeling come over me.

:soapbox: Prez Bush the 2nd talks about weapons of mass destruction. [Censored]...Every trained infantryman was a weapon of mass destruction. I carried a rifle that can shoot in automatic (multiple rounds) or semi-automatic (just pull the trigger and one round come out). technology has improved weapons to the point that you can easily carry it on your back. If you want to destroy a tank. We had a weapon for that. If you want to shoot a jet down, we had a weapon for that. You want to flatten a village or a garrison. We were the weapons for that. C company, second plattoon had 46 men that had accomplished this. But S.E.T.G. is more like a police action, patroling the streets. I don't envy her.

Since my discharge...I'd never shot a weapon. Seen them and talk about them. But that's about it. I never allowed my children to handle weapons either. Not even a toy water gun that looks like a german lugar. Well, Super-Soaker water squirters were the only exception.

Maybe it's just my paranoia. Or just bad memories.
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[*] posted on 3.30.2004 at 03:37 PM
A Relationship?


March 30th, 2004...12:10 pm....A relationship should be easy between two people. You should comfortable with the person and the conversation between the two of you should just flow. No soapbox stands, grocery or laundry lists of what your ideal mate is, or attitudes. Just a simple exchange of information about each other.
We started out the evening meeting at a coffee shop. I had a bottled root beer soda and she an iced tea. ($3.54) We moved on to a local restuarant where I had a bowl of chicken and rice soup and she had a bowl of vegetable soup.($4.98) I picked up the tap and she left the tip.
We then went to the movies(split the tap) and saw "Lady Killer" (that was a funny movie) It had us both laughing. After
the movie we hop into her car and return to my car which is located in the middle of the supermaket parking lot. The lot is large because you have supermarket, a department store, and a few specialty stores.
Here it is 9:00 pm and we sat and talked for a few more minutes. I lean over and gave her a kiss and she returned it. It soon turn passionate and the next thing I knew we were performing sexual acts on each other. It didn't help when a Deputy Sheriff drove by and saw us in an embrace. We looked at him and he looked at us and he continued to drive by. We then looked at each other like a couple of confused teenagers and laughed. Again we talked for another hour an then we left in our cars. We'll meet again soon under better circumstances.

A Method to my Madness...
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[*] posted on 4.2.2004 at 06:32 AM
Busy week so far...


April 2nd, 2004...3:10 am...Well Journal, here it is, one day after April 1st holiday that reminds everyone who we really are. Well, at least I know it. (laughing at one's self)

Speaking of Foolishness, I or shall I say we, are making plans to hook up again.....where?

Well, the conversation goes like this:

Gal: What do you like to do on your day off?

Guy: How about going to a hotel with you?

Gal: There's a hotel on the beach at seaside....we can walk on the beach and visit the local shops there.

Guy: That's sounds great, let's do it!

Gal: I'll check the hotel prices and get back to you on that.

The guy is me of course, the gal is the woman in the parking lot. Remember journal?

She's a professional woman and me a overworked truck driver. We both are looking for one person that we can hook up with on a consistent basis. A companion you could say, I think we found each other. We both agreed to be monogamous.

One more point Journal, she's also a known politician (locally)....which means our relationship will be low-key. My lips are sealed.
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[*] posted on 4.5.2004 at 09:15 PM
La Quinta Inn


April 5th, 2004, Monday....6:45 pm. Hello Journal, its been a busy weekend and it continuing on this week. So much going on in my family and friends now. Well, its Spring-time.

Gal, the woman I'd spend part of the weekend with have been a real pleasure. At 5'8" tall, weigh in at 140 lbs. Size 6-8 dress...she's HOT. (beats the hell out of a 5'4" 240 lbs. I took out for a date one time, never again!) I make it a point to be active and so does she. In fact there are a couple of things we think alike.(a bit scarey). But I do enjoy her company.

:soapbox: I've learned a while ago that women in general are self-conscious about their body. If that's true, then why are so many of them are 200 lbs and greater. I mean, you're not over 5'9" tall and knocking on 300's door. To me it didn't make sense.
Joni, a woman who is currently on the "Adkins Diet" has lost 40 lbs. so far. This is a opportunity for me to witness this up-close and personal.
She stated that she was going through some personal problems which some of them she voiced to me. Basically at the end of the day she would grab a bowl of ice cream and sit her behind down on the bed and watch T.V. ....She just didn't "give a damn". And the weight kept piling on....then one day she "woke up" and noticed she weighed in at 280 lbs. All 5' 6" tall.

I guess this "denial" and "don't give a damn about oneself" is quite prevalent here lately. Well, I consider myself lucky because I'm now hooked up with a woman who gives a damn about herself.
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[*] posted on 4.6.2004 at 02:14 AM
My oldest daughter.....Charlene


April 5th, 2004...11:35 pm...This 17 yo girl/woman worries me.
When I walk into the kitchen I saw a "Book on Accounting" laying on the table. It's a high school class she is taking. Grades came out last week. She got an "A". She stated that her and 5 other students performed well out of 56 total in 2 classes.
I said, "Hey, that's great!" You plan to major in this subject in college?
She said "No, I plan to major in English".

I thought to myself, she getting an "A" in Accounting, a "B" in other business courses and she wants to major in English???

"But Charlene, it's an marketable skill and you'll earn well". I said.

"I don't care about the money", her reply.

I said, "hold that thought, I'll repeat what you said 10 years from now and it will be interesting to see what you think then".

Teenagers, they only lack experience....
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[*] posted on 4.6.2004 at 02:40 PM
Moving in Together.....Why?


April 6th, 2004...12:15pm. It's my day off Journal, and I'm grateful. Completed a few errants and now I can ponder a few questions going through my mind.

Why People move in together....I mean man and a woman? They use to call this "trial marriage" when I was a kid. The ideal was to try it out for 6 to 12 months. If you both get along well, then you got married. If not, you move out.

Now they move in together for a variety of reasons. Convenience seems to be the main one.

Jan and Joni are perfect examples of this. They don't know each other but I dated them both. They both moved in with their "boyfriends" for economic reasons. Neither of them mentioned "Love" or "commitment".

Both men are responsible when it comes to money and not hard to get along with. There's a certain amount of respect for them.

But something happened 3 to 6 months later. Both couples moved to separate bedrooms. Both couples have agreements not to bring their lovers' to the house. Whatever happens outside stays outside so to speak.

Now I had sex with Jan and Joni and heard their tales of woe. But I didn't feel comfortable having a relationship with them. (strictly booty call I guess)

The one exception to this rule was Karen...she moved in a man who had no intention of working. He came in with a song and a dance and she bought it hook, line, and sinker. But then again, I've read somewhere that a woman like Karen could be placed in a room with 20 men. And she'll pick up the loser out of the bunch every time. You know the saying, men pick, but women chooses.

Now I met Gal, she lives in a 3 bedroom home with her 22 yo son (who is moving out next month) She likes her privacy and guards it well. We talked about moving in together, but I said only if I plan to marry you. And then, I have to know you at least a year before I seriously consider it. (reason, a lot of people start showing their true character within 3 to 6 months.) Which you might disagree with or visa versa.

So I'll hang out with Gal as long as she'll have me. So far, we both are enjoying the ride.
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[*] posted on 4.9.2004 at 05:42 AM
Just Being Grateful


April 9th, 2004....3:37 am....Hey Journal, work gone smoothly tonight. Talk to my gal earlier, we plan to see each other this weekend. Get paid today and its already spent. My daughter doing well in school....What more could I ask for???

Good night Journal...
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[*] posted on 4.12.2004 at 10:56 PM
Mortality


April 12, 2004...8:30 pm...Today is my day off Journal. Did some errants this morning and slept and played on the computer most of the afternoon. I'll be heading out to do my 2.5 mile walk. Could have done it this A.M. but I am thinking about Gal and her father.

Gal's father experienced a stroke this past Saturday. She called me this morning and we talked about death and dying in each of our families. She told me that she is preparing for the worst. We've have talked at least twice a day since then.

We've planned to be together tonight at her place and she apologize for canceling, but I told her that her father comes first, we can see each other later.

She ask me about the deaths in my family. Only the women in our family have died so far. My mother from kidney dysfunction and 11 years of dialysis. My older sister from murder/suicide. Yeap, the husband murder her and then committed suicide later. And my brothers' oldest daughter died in an automobile accident. The daughters' two year old baby girl was in a child car seat and survived without a scratch. So Wesley, my brother, him being the grand-dad, is raising her.

If Gal's father passes, it will be the first in her immediate family.
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[*] posted on 4.14.2004 at 03:18 AM
What is a Relationship?


April 14th, 2004, 1:00 am....Me and my Gal were laying in bed together just holding each other.
Then I said, .....I guess we have a relationship?
she replied,...What is a relationship?
My reply....Hmmmm, good question. What do you think is a relationship?
her reply....I never had one outside of marriage. You're the only one I've consistently visited.
my reply....all common now...you've been divorced for over three years now....you're tellin' me you've never had sex before this?
her reply....for the first 18 months I didn't date at all....and then there were one man. But he traveled a lot. And then there was you. We've managed to do a lot of things together the last three weeks.
My reply....yeah, we've have.
her reply.....so how often you like to make love?
my reply....well, it seems we've been averaging about 3 to 5 times a week.
her reply....yeah we have....but I love it when you spend the night...I feel so comfortable when you're lying next to me.
my reply....i feel the same way too...and thats kind of scary, I'm too comfortable.
her reply....so, do we have a relationship?
my reply...I don't know.

We soon fell asleep into each others arms.

Good night Journal...
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[*] posted on 4.15.2004 at 06:48 AM
Forming a Bond


April 15, 2004...4:00 am...good morning Journal....easy night tonight...went to depoe bay to deliver fuel...seems like every time I go there its stormin'...maybe its just me...lucked out tonight though, no lightning.

I can feel forming a bond with this woman. How, by holding her hand...all she has to do is touch me and she'll have my full attention.

Jan, was or is the same way....me and Jan known each other for two and a half years. Steady friendship, occassional lovers. 3 weeks ago I informed her that I'm now dating Gal. Her response...."Well, at least you are honest about it!" 2 hours later she sent me an e-mail wishing me the best. She's currently getting ready to move out on her own. Her and her live-in haven't slept in the same bed in over a year.

3 days ago, the mother of my children even asked me, "OK, WHO IS SHE?"

I said, well-l-l-l... She then froze in her tracks, as if she felt a presence.

Gal(the one I'm dating) is really enjoying her freedom since her divorce. She has a full life. I mean mother, member of an active club, active church member, politician.....the only thing that was missing was an active sex and romantic life....she's an sophisticated and intelligent woman....and she chose me to be her romantic partner.
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[*] posted on 4.18.2004 at 03:40 AM
The Rules of dating for JrHagler


April 18, 2004...1:15 am...Hi Journal, my personal rules of dating was created with experience and a lot of help from different people. After a 16 year relationship ended in divorce. I was like a fish out of water when it came to dating. On the cocca lounge board only 12 rules are listed. But I personally have over 20. All geared towards testing the interest of the female I'm interested in. I've learned some hard lessons right after my divorce.

It's not my interest in her that matters, it's her interest in me.....

For me, the rules put a limit on the game playing. You're interested in me or you're not. Let's not waste time!

I also use these rules to find a suitable mate, a screen you could say......for marriage. Which is why the one year rule.

I had one experience where one woman wanted to get married and we only known each other for 6 weeks. I said, "no, after one year I'll seriously consider it". After that point, the relationship went to hell. By the end of the week, she was yelling and screamin" at me. I just picked up my jacket and walked out the door.

A week later her friends were telling me how she was sorry and she knew I was a good man and all......

I said, "Thank you for the compliments, but I'm not returning".

Shawna (the moderator) reminds me of that woman. Yelling, "Shut-the fugg-up" as I was walking out the door.
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[*] posted on 4.19.2004 at 05:35 AM
hello


April 19th, 2004...2:36 am...This has been a busy weekend. My daughter Kanika has joined a girls basketball traveling team. They spent Saturday afternoon and early Sunday morning playing against other traveling teams. 5 games in a space of 14 hours in Eugene, Oregon. Came home Sunday 11:30 am sleepy, grouchy, and tired. We've talked for about 5 minutes and off to bed she went....her mother planning to buy her a car with the help of her boyfriend....if he's that generous, I'm not complaining.(smile)...She'll be a senior coming this fall and will be taking college level courses. One benefit is that she'll start at 9:00 am instead of 7:30 am and leave at 1:00 pm. Of course, she'll continue basketball.

Charlene, my other daughter is planning to move out this summer after she graduates from high school. Her and three friends have been planning this since last summer. If things go well they'll rent a house for themselves and share expenses. They all had jobs since the age of sixteen and they graduate together this June. College is part of their plans as well.

Well Journal, my ex is recovering from a partial hysterectomy 4 weeks ago that left her ovaries intact. No hormone therapy for her. She's improving rather well. Lifting, is limited to 10 pounds max. Our children have been helpful with all the chores around the house.

Gal and I stayed together Friday night and spent Saturday morning drinking coffee at Starbucks and browsing the local Goodwill store. Picked up some wine glasses and a few books to read.

All our lives are starting to go in different directions. One child sprouted wings and flew, another exercising hers, and the third has a year to go. My ex and her friend of two years are going strong. Me and Gal are in the early stages. Gal spent Sunday with her family. Her parents and her brothers and sisters attended church and had dinner afterwards. She gave me call while I was on the road. Luckily I was on the interstate and pulled over to chat.

Well, I'm getting sleepy....good night journal.
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[*] posted on 4.20.2004 at 11:20 PM
Everyone getting greedy!


April 20th, 2004...Tuesday Evening, This is my day off from work Journal and it doesn't feel too relaxing. It seems like everyone have their hands out wanting more money. I receive an order from child support agency stating they want to increase my payout another 150 dollars a month.(I like to know why?) My car insurance is going up another 15 dollars a month. (why? I have no accidents or tickets) Now my disability insurance at work is going up as well as medical/dental/vision. I had one surgery in over 25 years and they're increasing the rate? Dayum......Am I getting a raise here??? You know the answer to that one Journal...I guess these company executives have to maintain their bonus levels.
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[*] posted on 4.21.2004 at 12:08 AM
Birth Control.....Again?


April 20th, 2004....9:25 pm...had a talk with my daughter Kanika this evening. Turned into an heated discussion.

It started when I asked when is her next birth control shot...she stated that she found God again and will remained abstinate...And what about your boyfriend I asked...well, she said that she informed him and his mother that she's no longer sexually active. And if he doesn't like it, it's on him.

Hmmmm....I gave it a thought for awhile.....What about the next guy you might run into? You might be head-over-heels with him.....
her response...I'll tell him what I told Leo(her almost current squeeze)
me...I remember when you first met Leo, you hugged that boy so hard his eyes nearly bugged out.
her....but what I'm saying is that I make the decision whether to have sex or not. And I choose to abstain.

I let it go for about 30 seconds...then I challenged her...to make her think....to understand her reasoning...and to understand my personal experience on this.

She went to the Bible....proverbs, David, Solomon, and examples of people living the way of the lord. I came back with the Bible also, and the way people think now in this country vs. other countries. After quite a few minutes of exchange.

She finally said...A lot of parents feel that by taking birth control....you're encouraging sex.

I told her that taking birth control is like an insurance policy. Look, we're in the car now right. I have a insurance policy on this car. Does that encourage me to go out and wreak it or to drive it like an idiot?.....No, it's a preventative measure in case something do happened. I want to keep this car as long as possible. So to protect me and the next guy financially.

Birth control is the same way......it's not to encourage you. Who knows, you might reach that weak moment and say "yes" to sex. At least you'll be protected from getting pregnant. It's good that you're abstaining from sex. But my experience require an insurance policy.

We're all human, and as humans we are predisposed or programmed to have sex....it's not a question that if we have sex. It's a question of when. Christianity, provides those guidelines when to have sex (like marriage)...and face it, not all people follow those guidelines.
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